Support

A lot of ladies have NO CLUE they have PCOS. I mean A LOT!

If you come even remotely CLOSE to the symptoms of PCOS you need to get support if you're struggling!

I find a lot of support in the Facebook world- and I wanted to encourage you to reach out and find a great support group.

There is nothing like having that support of others who understand exactly what you're going through.

This disease has no cure right now... all we can do is maintain it.  It's awful. No one deserves it- but it's here and we have to deal with it.

Especially if you're the type who worked so hard on your career, followed the rules- got married- then comes babies- and all the sudden 2 years pass and every home pregnancy test comes back negative and your period is all over the place. Hair growing all over you in bad areas- chin, upper lip, back- just SO random and awkward. The ZITS! omg! WHo wants to be an adult with ZITS?! YAY for high testosterone!

This can make you HATE yourself! And you shouldn't!  This is just a disease you have to fight.

I fought to lose a ton of weight and that helped tremendously! I know weight gain is all part of this as well, it's something you can't help.  I would say adding a solid nutrition plan to your life and exercise would help counteract this a TON! But I get it- not everyone gets past this.

Mentally- oh my- mentally you are all screwed up! Especially when you're starting to try to conceive. The world gets SO DARK and you crawl into this hole because nobody understands. Not even your hubs gets it!

I want to encourage you to reach out to a support group- whether it's live, in person, on facebook, twitter etc.    It'll help you SO MUCH!  Others who understand what you're going through- there's nothing like it! Plus! You make new friends!!!

That's all for now- hopefully I have my treatments updates here for you soon

Ladies Take Note

Doctors say if you're coming up on 30 or older and you aren't close to the whole marriage/family process. Perhaps you're big into your career. They suggested that you get eggs frozen in case you are one of the females who will suffer infertility.

Eggs diminish the older you get- late in your 30's and early 40's!

This isn't the case with everyone, but it's something to think real hard about.

I always wanted at least one baby by 30.   Had I not gotten married earlier, I'm not sure what would be going through my head.  Because generally you get married- then have a baby about a year or 2 later.

If you get married late in life- what do you do?

Just making the ladies out there whom are waiting, whom have no idea if they suffer infertility or not- making them aware of their options to have a family when that time comes.

It'd help you avoid a lot of pain and hurt to know you froze eggs that will be good to use :)

40% chance of success doing that as you get older.

Check in with your doctor.

I have a great doctor that of course I would refer in a second if you live near me. I highly recommend. I even have a 2nd doctor that I use as well because of Insurance I have to balance the 2 docs. Both are great docs.

I hear some stories and it scares me to think what some of these doctors are doing. It's so different from what I do.  just scary for the lady.

The female reproductive system is crazy- you only get 20% chance to have a baby each month while trying. It can take you years, or it could be easy as pie.  You never know. But if you have a deep burning desire to have babies one day and are no where near working on that option than def freeze up your eggs.

And if you have PCOS, Endo etc DEF FREEZE EGGS!!!! It'll help you tremendously!!!

Day 2 injections

Day 2 of my injections....

Bailey decided to jump on me today- he is my Puggle about 2 years old and 25lbs of pure muscle. When he jumps & lands it ain't pretty!  The doctors want me to set up gates so he wont jump for the next couple weeks. I guess injections are going to make my ovaries nice and large...exciting right? ha!

So the bloating is slowly beginning. I seem to be overly hungry on these and my body temp is crazy. I'm cold then warm then cold. I feel like my stomach is sticking far out which sucks.

I'm trying to stay positive and focus on making sure I dont bend over, or bounce around the house, or over exert myself.  Seriously I can't even WORKOUT. All I do is walk. It's so not lyndsi. I'm soooo not myself with this. BUT I am trying to remain normal and stay positive as best I can.

Preparing for a long busy weekend coming up is kind of a struggle but I think it will be okay. I wish I could just be normal Lyndsi again. Not have to worry about plans and just going with the flow for the weekend but that's not how things roll for me right now. I have to plan out my meds, they have to refridgerated as well as taken on time. It's a lot of clean/prep work to add the new needle, clean it up, dial up then poke and clean up after that.

I do miss being normal and having a normal life. I pray no one has to deal with infertility. It's an absolute nightmare.

I also want to encourage those who ARE going through this to SPEAK UP with your doctors!!! They will listen if you SPEAK UP! Because I spoke up my doctors have been very aggressive moving forward for me.  If you dont speak up you're only going to move slow and waiting is truly the hardest part (thank you tom petty)

Today while injecting I noticed another needle in my kit and GOOD GOD is it HUGE. I am NOT looking forward to THAT!

I'll show you a picture here of this lovely needle.

I'm going to take a wild guess that its used for the HCG trigger shot later.

wish me luck as the process continues! I will keep you posted. Night Night!

Injections Begin

Hey Everyone!

Like I wrote in the last post.... I thought my cycle had started 2 weeks ago when in reality it did NOT! It started a week ago which my complaining in my previous post about switching doctors and losing out on 1 cycle really was God holding it off so I could get situated since I need to use injection medicine & IVF!

So that is very exciting. On a negative note though I may forfeit a couple amazing business trips because of timing BUT this is family we are talking about :)

The doctor ordered me my first set of injections- they come to you in the mail in a cooler. You have to keep them cold in the fridge!

Today was my first injection.  I went to get monitored and the doctor found 15 follicles on one ovary and 8 on the other. Do you know how many babies that is?!?! Dont you just love this disease?!??!

GOOD LORD!   The biggest risk is that multiples are an option. I'm okay with that at this point.

I learned how to use the 'pen'. We add the medicine to it, as well as a fresh new needle each time. I then stuck it into my FAT! ha!! and pushed the button and in went the medicine. There was a small burning feeling after which I assume means it worked. I forgot to clean that area after. OOPS.

Tomorrow is shot #2. I am getting comfortable already!

I go back to the hospital on Thursday to be monitored and see how the follicles are coming along.

The hope is that only 1-4 grow and not all of them. Otherwise they will cancel this cycle.

I have to say I do miss my primary doc. He's great and so laid back. These guys are a big more uptight, super friendly but not near as laid back as Dr. Roth and his staff. So I pray I get success soon so I can be released back to him!

The benefit is that I did not pay 1 cent for my medicine and so far am not paying much for my appointments either. Which is KEY to helping with infertility. It gets SUPER expensive.

The negative is that I ALWAYS have to go to the hospital. Parking there SUCKS. I get super frustrated with it. Then I get lost in the hospital as I'm still learning my way. This is the hospital I will one day give birth in, so I guess it's fair that I learn now. Might as well right!?  Here is to hoping this round works!

I will keep you posted as we move forward. Keep me in your prayers that these follicles calm themselves and I dont grow too many so we can continue!

xoxo good night

CYCLE CHANGE WHAT?!

TMI- fair warning!!! Stop reading now if you dont wanna know.

After the HSG I went home with some discomfort and was told I might see some discharge from the ink/dye and/or blood. But a light amount.

Well Sunday night a HUGE flow hit and I was like okay fair enough this is from the HSG. Fast Forward to today and I was like okay for real I still have a lot of this going on.

I called into the doc that I am now working with for the IVF/Injection procedure and they had me come in right away for an ultrasound to see what was going on. So I headed out to the doctor this afternoon and sure enough it looks as if my period is here.

Holy confusion batman!!! I swore it came on May 1st! Isn't this disease AWESOME!?!?! Apparently it's here now. They did run blood to be 100% sure that is correct. I will find out tomorrow for sure.

In the meantime they started me on my new meds- Clomid and then Gonadotrophins, also known as injections!  Oh yes. I got sent home with a DVD explaining how to give myself shots. Exciting isn't it?!
I can't wait to stick myself daily with some medicine.

But when all is said & done if a healthy baby or 2 comes out of this, then it'll be well worth it.

For now I'll leave you with this video that hopefully helps you get the idea of what goes through the mind of a person dealing with infertility. Not every single thing she writes does go through our mind but most of these do.

Mother's Day

I'm not gonna lie mothers day should be good, but it's kinda hard. It doesn't help that I'm in the midst of a detox and DYING for my everyday nutrition menu again.

Being on social media is hard a lot, it's tons and tons of happy pregnancy, baby picture, family picture posts and it's really hard. REALLY HARD. But who can blame everyone. I imagine I'd be doing the same thing if I was blessed to have a child.

The detox mixed with mothers day and infertility is NO BUENO!!!!

Hal and I talked a lot about what happens if I never have kids. I refuse to hear it. I refuse to even think that is the case. I fully believe I'm meant to have children in my life. I can't help but wonder if maybe God doesn't want me to have them... but I'm pretty sure he keeps his promises and he does.

Rough day. Not much else to say.

Good Night

HSG

Today has been REAL interesting.  Enough that I can write yet again!

I spoke about the HSG yesterday and never really explained what exactly it was.

So check it out  HSG

The doctor required it as does my insurance so lucky me. I get to have my own doctor do it. He requested I come to the hospital tomorrow for the procedure. I hear it's painful. I'm not excited. But I'll do what I have to, to have a family.

I was talking to the Verizon Wireless Rep and he wished me a Happy Mother's Day. NOT COOL! I understand the kindness but NOT COOL!  Thanks for that reminder!!!!  It's hard- I'd say it's best to not say anything at all. You never know what someone is going through and you can judge or assume.

It's a struggle like I've said,  I get a lot of people who tell ME first they are prego. It's like what do I have 'PLEASE TELL ME!!' plastered to my head?!?!

I understand that excitement for sure. I will be the SAME way when my day comes.  So I try to be happy and excited and ignore the fact that this is reality for me and IVF is waiting.

I told you yesterday that I cannot travel during these procedures because of blood flow, sitting too long, and all the monitoring. So the decision now is do I wait a month and travel or do I cancel my traveling?!

I want badly to be there for my team, for the pictures, and the memories. This is really difficult for me believe it or not.

With this disease you never know if a round is going to work or not. You never know if you're body is going to develop cysts that will scrap your round or if it will work.

I love being in the unknown. NOT!

I'm trying to enjoy this journey... really I am.

I was just thinking about how exercise has been cut from me yet I need to exercise. So I was thinking I could swim this summer. It's different, slow paced, or fast if I choose and I bet it wont affect my body! That's something to look forward to :)

Anyway- happy mothers day to those who are and those who are not keep pressing forward, one day it'll be for you too.