As infertility rolls- you have to take a couple blood tests for a couple days to make sure all numbers are doubling.
I came back for round 2 numbers- They were 1558 HCG and round 3 which was a week later was 4139!
Was this multiples?! If you research HCG numbers- you'll see that these high numbers generally means multiples BUT some people have had SUPER high numbers and just had one healthy baby.
I had to wait till I hit 6.5 weeks for the Ultrasound to find out!
In the meantime we shared the news with MK- my sister in law and my brothers.
All my infertility friends were in the loop since we are such a solid support system :)
We've slowly been releasing news- SLOWLY to a couple people involved in this whole process.
You need to wait till about 12-13 weeks to be safe.
I feel very confident with this. Every single piece of news and updates from the doctor have been nothing but positive and high excitement. He's been so thrilled with everything, that I feel this is it.
This baby is going to stay put and I will meet him or her in February :)
Now to get back to what life was like when you have this kind of exciting news. You go for months upon months of bad, sad, crazy hormone news. Weight is up and down too which makes for a super frustrating situation constantly. You can't really keep up on your fitness and your infertility- so I had to give up exercise for a while... well- a good chunk of time now :)
So adjusting back to normal life, crawling out of your 'hole', and relaxing while the little one grows :)
Showing posts with label triplets. Show all posts
Showing posts with label triplets. Show all posts
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Updates
As I had said in my last post I was scheduled to be in Las Vegas for business and had to cancel the trip.
The bittersweet part to that is the reason I had to- was because- FINALLY! Baby is on the way!
I had taken a pregnancy test Monday the week of my bloodwork results. I was due for blood-HCG-preg test on Thursday, but knowing that I was not to go to Vegas if it did come back positive I decided to take a home test. It came up positive...and I was like hmmm could this be the HCG shot I had?
You see HCG is what those home tests are looking for. It's also the shot you take to help ovulation take place. So if you take a pregnancy test too early- you can end up with a false positive.
I was super skeptical obviously. But I had one more test from my 3 pack, so I decided to wait until Wednesday to take it. Wednesday morning I got up and sure enough it read 'PREGNANT'
Now I was 15 days out from my HCG shot, so I was really starting to get confident. I was due in Vegas in 1 week. I didn't even bother to continue to plan. I figured this was going to be it but it was worth asking if I could travel.
Usually you can in the first couple weeks but not if you're going through treatments.
Thursday came, I went into the doctor's office and gave my blood about 9:00AM
I had a good 6 hours until I would hear back.
Talk about driving a girl crazy! Now I work from home so I have the freedom to do what I want, when I want. I tried to get some work done that day. It wasn't going well. My mind kept racing.
I left to the store, all crazy, trying to figure out how we would tell our parents if this was positive news.
It was Father's Day weekend coming up and as much as we wanted to save our news for that day, it didn't go over well. I had calls coming in with questions about how the appt went.
I continued to avoid them throughout the day, but I knew I could not all weekend.
I decided going out and about would help me. I started at the puppy store. I hate puppy stores because they are like puppy mills, but I needed a major distraction. I found the cutest little puggle, 3 lbs I swear! I was tempted to get him/her. I was sending pictures to Hal through my phone and he was like WHAT ARE YOU DOING!??!!!??! Finally I left with nothing in my hand!
I strolled through Hobby Lobby looking for something to stand out to give them with the news. But nothing stood out. A bunch of pink and blue items were there and I thought well can't do this because it's way too early if it is at all.
I think i did like 20 circles in the store. I finally came across 2 cards left that said 'It's a MIRACLE!' with some baby feet and inside it said congrats on being grandparents! I thought okay this is easy and simple I can work with this. I grabbed the 2 cards and left.
I think I might have stopped for ice cream on the way home.
3:30-4PM FINALLY came, and sure enough the nurse called and said- You're home tests were correct- your HCG is 318 & Progesterone is 37.4! CONGRATS! Take some extra folic acid just in case.
In case what? In case there are more than 1. We don't know yet, could be one healthy baby... or more.
HA!!! So finally the good news, finally!!! Now for the big wait! The best news was that you are considered 4 wks at that point so I was like oh thank god 8 more weeks till we're in the 'safe zone'
Now to tell our parents.
The bittersweet part to that is the reason I had to- was because- FINALLY! Baby is on the way!
I had taken a pregnancy test Monday the week of my bloodwork results. I was due for blood-HCG-preg test on Thursday, but knowing that I was not to go to Vegas if it did come back positive I decided to take a home test. It came up positive...and I was like hmmm could this be the HCG shot I had?
You see HCG is what those home tests are looking for. It's also the shot you take to help ovulation take place. So if you take a pregnancy test too early- you can end up with a false positive.
I was super skeptical obviously. But I had one more test from my 3 pack, so I decided to wait until Wednesday to take it. Wednesday morning I got up and sure enough it read 'PREGNANT'
Now I was 15 days out from my HCG shot, so I was really starting to get confident. I was due in Vegas in 1 week. I didn't even bother to continue to plan. I figured this was going to be it but it was worth asking if I could travel.
Usually you can in the first couple weeks but not if you're going through treatments.
Thursday came, I went into the doctor's office and gave my blood about 9:00AM
I had a good 6 hours until I would hear back.
Talk about driving a girl crazy! Now I work from home so I have the freedom to do what I want, when I want. I tried to get some work done that day. It wasn't going well. My mind kept racing.
I left to the store, all crazy, trying to figure out how we would tell our parents if this was positive news.
It was Father's Day weekend coming up and as much as we wanted to save our news for that day, it didn't go over well. I had calls coming in with questions about how the appt went.
I continued to avoid them throughout the day, but I knew I could not all weekend.
I decided going out and about would help me. I started at the puppy store. I hate puppy stores because they are like puppy mills, but I needed a major distraction. I found the cutest little puggle, 3 lbs I swear! I was tempted to get him/her. I was sending pictures to Hal through my phone and he was like WHAT ARE YOU DOING!??!!!??! Finally I left with nothing in my hand!
I strolled through Hobby Lobby looking for something to stand out to give them with the news. But nothing stood out. A bunch of pink and blue items were there and I thought well can't do this because it's way too early if it is at all.
I think i did like 20 circles in the store. I finally came across 2 cards left that said 'It's a MIRACLE!' with some baby feet and inside it said congrats on being grandparents! I thought okay this is easy and simple I can work with this. I grabbed the 2 cards and left.
I think I might have stopped for ice cream on the way home.
3:30-4PM FINALLY came, and sure enough the nurse called and said- You're home tests were correct- your HCG is 318 & Progesterone is 37.4! CONGRATS! Take some extra folic acid just in case.
In case what? In case there are more than 1. We don't know yet, could be one healthy baby... or more.
HA!!! So finally the good news, finally!!! Now for the big wait! The best news was that you are considered 4 wks at that point so I was like oh thank god 8 more weeks till we're in the 'safe zone'
Now to tell our parents.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Support
A lot of ladies have NO CLUE they have PCOS. I mean A LOT!
If you come even remotely CLOSE to the symptoms of PCOS you need to get support if you're struggling!
I find a lot of support in the Facebook world- and I wanted to encourage you to reach out and find a great support group.
There is nothing like having that support of others who understand exactly what you're going through.
This disease has no cure right now... all we can do is maintain it. It's awful. No one deserves it- but it's here and we have to deal with it.
Especially if you're the type who worked so hard on your career, followed the rules- got married- then comes babies- and all the sudden 2 years pass and every home pregnancy test comes back negative and your period is all over the place. Hair growing all over you in bad areas- chin, upper lip, back- just SO random and awkward. The ZITS! omg! WHo wants to be an adult with ZITS?! YAY for high testosterone!
This can make you HATE yourself! And you shouldn't! This is just a disease you have to fight.
I fought to lose a ton of weight and that helped tremendously! I know weight gain is all part of this as well, it's something you can't help. I would say adding a solid nutrition plan to your life and exercise would help counteract this a TON! But I get it- not everyone gets past this.
Mentally- oh my- mentally you are all screwed up! Especially when you're starting to try to conceive. The world gets SO DARK and you crawl into this hole because nobody understands. Not even your hubs gets it!
I want to encourage you to reach out to a support group- whether it's live, in person, on facebook, twitter etc. It'll help you SO MUCH! Others who understand what you're going through- there's nothing like it! Plus! You make new friends!!!
That's all for now- hopefully I have my treatments updates here for you soon
If you come even remotely CLOSE to the symptoms of PCOS you need to get support if you're struggling!
I find a lot of support in the Facebook world- and I wanted to encourage you to reach out and find a great support group.
There is nothing like having that support of others who understand exactly what you're going through.
This disease has no cure right now... all we can do is maintain it. It's awful. No one deserves it- but it's here and we have to deal with it.
Especially if you're the type who worked so hard on your career, followed the rules- got married- then comes babies- and all the sudden 2 years pass and every home pregnancy test comes back negative and your period is all over the place. Hair growing all over you in bad areas- chin, upper lip, back- just SO random and awkward. The ZITS! omg! WHo wants to be an adult with ZITS?! YAY for high testosterone!
This can make you HATE yourself! And you shouldn't! This is just a disease you have to fight.
I fought to lose a ton of weight and that helped tremendously! I know weight gain is all part of this as well, it's something you can't help. I would say adding a solid nutrition plan to your life and exercise would help counteract this a TON! But I get it- not everyone gets past this.
Mentally- oh my- mentally you are all screwed up! Especially when you're starting to try to conceive. The world gets SO DARK and you crawl into this hole because nobody understands. Not even your hubs gets it!
I want to encourage you to reach out to a support group- whether it's live, in person, on facebook, twitter etc. It'll help you SO MUCH! Others who understand what you're going through- there's nothing like it! Plus! You make new friends!!!
That's all for now- hopefully I have my treatments updates here for you soon
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Ladies Take Note
Doctors say if you're coming up on 30 or older and you aren't close to the whole marriage/family process. Perhaps you're big into your career. They suggested that you get eggs frozen in case you are one of the females who will suffer infertility.
Eggs diminish the older you get- late in your 30's and early 40's!
This isn't the case with everyone, but it's something to think real hard about.
I always wanted at least one baby by 30. Had I not gotten married earlier, I'm not sure what would be going through my head. Because generally you get married- then have a baby about a year or 2 later.
If you get married late in life- what do you do?
Just making the ladies out there whom are waiting, whom have no idea if they suffer infertility or not- making them aware of their options to have a family when that time comes.
It'd help you avoid a lot of pain and hurt to know you froze eggs that will be good to use :)
40% chance of success doing that as you get older.
Check in with your doctor.
I have a great doctor that of course I would refer in a second if you live near me. I highly recommend. I even have a 2nd doctor that I use as well because of Insurance I have to balance the 2 docs. Both are great docs.
I hear some stories and it scares me to think what some of these doctors are doing. It's so different from what I do. just scary for the lady.
The female reproductive system is crazy- you only get 20% chance to have a baby each month while trying. It can take you years, or it could be easy as pie. You never know. But if you have a deep burning desire to have babies one day and are no where near working on that option than def freeze up your eggs.
And if you have PCOS, Endo etc DEF FREEZE EGGS!!!! It'll help you tremendously!!!
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Injection Warnings
If Injections are meant for you.... here's my warnings:
1. Be prepared to get fat fast!!! Holy big stomach!!! I can't even believe how puffy I am. These meds can cause weight gain in a short week! There is nothing you can do about it, but deal.
Try being in the fitness business- not allowed to exercise, and puffing out like crazy!
The thing we do for a family!
2. No Exercise! I dont know about you guys but exercise is what helps me mentally and physically. This is a KILLER for me. I'm just walking and eventually going to swim.
3. No bending- No leg crossing- no jumping- no bouncing
basically if you have ANY doubt... DONT DO IT!
My little puggle loves to play and he's quite the jumper and I really cannot play with him right now. The poor guy doesn't understand what is going on. He's used to being able to rough-house with me and now he can't. I'm completely paranoid when sleeping because I dont want him to come jump on me and damage my ovaries.
I think the worst is just remembering everything and when the twinges start you freak out- did I hurt something?! It's crazy. Seriously.
What's happening is everything is enlarged as part of the process- does this happen with normal reproductive people?!?!?! hmmmm it does make sense for the 'bloated' time of the month on the ladies...
anyway
I can't travel right now. All these crazy restrictions- you might as well just sleep. It's kinda depressing.
Oh and the hormones that have been added.... you're constantly starving...and craving of course all the wrong stuff. I'd say you're moody, headaches, tired... a lot of weird feelings going on.
hopefully sooner than later this will pay off and be all worth it!
I look forward to having a family and having my fitness life back :)
1. Be prepared to get fat fast!!! Holy big stomach!!! I can't even believe how puffy I am. These meds can cause weight gain in a short week! There is nothing you can do about it, but deal.
Try being in the fitness business- not allowed to exercise, and puffing out like crazy!
The thing we do for a family!
2. No Exercise! I dont know about you guys but exercise is what helps me mentally and physically. This is a KILLER for me. I'm just walking and eventually going to swim.
3. No bending- No leg crossing- no jumping- no bouncing
basically if you have ANY doubt... DONT DO IT!
My little puggle loves to play and he's quite the jumper and I really cannot play with him right now. The poor guy doesn't understand what is going on. He's used to being able to rough-house with me and now he can't. I'm completely paranoid when sleeping because I dont want him to come jump on me and damage my ovaries.
I think the worst is just remembering everything and when the twinges start you freak out- did I hurt something?! It's crazy. Seriously.
What's happening is everything is enlarged as part of the process- does this happen with normal reproductive people?!?!?! hmmmm it does make sense for the 'bloated' time of the month on the ladies...
anyway
I can't travel right now. All these crazy restrictions- you might as well just sleep. It's kinda depressing.
Oh and the hormones that have been added.... you're constantly starving...and craving of course all the wrong stuff. I'd say you're moody, headaches, tired... a lot of weird feelings going on.
hopefully sooner than later this will pay off and be all worth it!
I look forward to having a family and having my fitness life back :)
Friday, June 1, 2012
Injection hormones out of whack!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I want to just warn those of you who have to take injections... holy mother do they make you eat and your mind spin.
I'm never FULL EVER which is INSANE! I am trying to mentally wrap my mind around eating my 5 small meals that I'm used to everyday. I took myself to the store to buy extremely healthy whole foods and am working to get rid of all the crap that was in my house this weekend!!! I usually dont keep much junk but this weekend was different as we had visitors in town, and I usually get laid back with company and eat whatever is around.
But the injections had my head spinning. You get super tired, forgetful, you cry at nothing, and EAT! GRRRRRRRR just what I want right?!?!
I am STOKED for when I can get back to fitness and shrink down. I'm super puffy/ swollen etc right now. I feel like a pregnant girl. Hopefully this will be a dream come true soon!
Injections are a whole new world of medicine but they get the job done!
I woke up super depressed, having had a nightmare that Hal hated me. Just what I need while going through this journey right?! I did get up nice and early but wanted to stay in bed and hide from everything. I could feel the depression cloud smothering me, but I am slightly aware that I am pumped with a TON of medicine right now and that it's going to pay off soon :) It's hard on this end FOR SURE.
I mean... here you are... no baby... no guarantee of a baby...and you are going through A LOT to 'try' for that baby... but nothing is guaranteed. And if you get that baby...then you have to see about getting through the SAFE ZONE! Which means no miscarriage. This is nothing but SUPER STRESSFUL. Your faith has to be SO STRONG that the plan is laid out and that a family IS part of it, regardless of how you wanted that plan to go. Because I sure wanted 1 baby at the least on the way by the time I turned 30 and here I am 6 months away from 31 with no baby in sight.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm just meant for multiples? Perhaps. One and done? Sure! Boy & Girl? bring it on! Triplets is not success in the world of the infertility docs. So twins will do. But one is good as well.
I was an only child half of my life and HATED it. I wanted badly to not be the only one and eventually I collected some siblings along the way. I do have older siblings as well, I just did not grow up with them. So I want my children to have siblings...2 total at the least 3 at max. Unless God has another plan and I wind up with 4-5 !!! I bet Hal would be just STOKED haha!!! But in all honestly- this is not how I expected life to play out. I've gotten pregnant before on my own just fine, so this has throw the biggest curveball ever at me.
I know they say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.. but ummm I've fought a lot of obstacles in life and I'm ready to just rest and enjoy for a while...so this battle has thrown me so far off it's not even funny. In fact it's straight up sad. I do try my best to stay focused and stay positive. But these injections..whew!!!! Talk about a hormone hot mess I am right now. I'm probably best inside my house away from anyone else.
Now that I have healthy eats in the house I should be back under control here shortly with nutrition.
Mentally I like to exercise to keep sane... well all I can do right now is swim or walk. I'm waiting on whether we are moving or not here shortly to determine which pool I want to be connected to.
We found a house we love, it's very small though so there is a lot of concern there. I can't imagine having a family in this house, but we do love it. We shall see if it's what is meant to be.
If that is the case though- I will wait to get my pool pass from the Lombard pool rather than the Orland park pool. Then I'll start swimming. I wonder if I can get my iPOD under water and still listen to it!??!?! Music helps me a TON!
What do you think tri-level home w/ finished basement-decent sized bedrooms and SMALL kitchen? OR one level home with big kitchen, big living room, decent bedrooms, and no basement? Both have 3 bedrooms... both have big back yards...
I'm trying to visualize a playroom, my office... etc in the smaller house.... thoughts?! suggestions?! opinions?!
Big house is in the town we want to live in but on the wrong side of town, and little house is in a different town- close but not our town of choice. Of course little house is cheaper & very open... huge kitchen... hmm decisions decisions
I also have a FULL workout room- weights, treadmill, elliptical, bars, bands etc etc Could I stash all of that plus playroom toys in a big living room with no other place to put it?!?!
Anyway- that's about it for now. Just dealing with crazy hormones, mentally, physically, and hopefully i'll get them under control soon.
Wish me luck that I'll have good news eventually.
I'm never FULL EVER which is INSANE! I am trying to mentally wrap my mind around eating my 5 small meals that I'm used to everyday. I took myself to the store to buy extremely healthy whole foods and am working to get rid of all the crap that was in my house this weekend!!! I usually dont keep much junk but this weekend was different as we had visitors in town, and I usually get laid back with company and eat whatever is around.
But the injections had my head spinning. You get super tired, forgetful, you cry at nothing, and EAT! GRRRRRRRR just what I want right?!?!
I am STOKED for when I can get back to fitness and shrink down. I'm super puffy/ swollen etc right now. I feel like a pregnant girl. Hopefully this will be a dream come true soon!
Injections are a whole new world of medicine but they get the job done!
I woke up super depressed, having had a nightmare that Hal hated me. Just what I need while going through this journey right?! I did get up nice and early but wanted to stay in bed and hide from everything. I could feel the depression cloud smothering me, but I am slightly aware that I am pumped with a TON of medicine right now and that it's going to pay off soon :) It's hard on this end FOR SURE.
I mean... here you are... no baby... no guarantee of a baby...and you are going through A LOT to 'try' for that baby... but nothing is guaranteed. And if you get that baby...then you have to see about getting through the SAFE ZONE! Which means no miscarriage. This is nothing but SUPER STRESSFUL. Your faith has to be SO STRONG that the plan is laid out and that a family IS part of it, regardless of how you wanted that plan to go. Because I sure wanted 1 baby at the least on the way by the time I turned 30 and here I am 6 months away from 31 with no baby in sight.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm just meant for multiples? Perhaps. One and done? Sure! Boy & Girl? bring it on! Triplets is not success in the world of the infertility docs. So twins will do. But one is good as well.
I was an only child half of my life and HATED it. I wanted badly to not be the only one and eventually I collected some siblings along the way. I do have older siblings as well, I just did not grow up with them. So I want my children to have siblings...2 total at the least 3 at max. Unless God has another plan and I wind up with 4-5 !!! I bet Hal would be just STOKED haha!!! But in all honestly- this is not how I expected life to play out. I've gotten pregnant before on my own just fine, so this has throw the biggest curveball ever at me.
I know they say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.. but ummm I've fought a lot of obstacles in life and I'm ready to just rest and enjoy for a while...so this battle has thrown me so far off it's not even funny. In fact it's straight up sad. I do try my best to stay focused and stay positive. But these injections..whew!!!! Talk about a hormone hot mess I am right now. I'm probably best inside my house away from anyone else.
Now that I have healthy eats in the house I should be back under control here shortly with nutrition.
Mentally I like to exercise to keep sane... well all I can do right now is swim or walk. I'm waiting on whether we are moving or not here shortly to determine which pool I want to be connected to.
We found a house we love, it's very small though so there is a lot of concern there. I can't imagine having a family in this house, but we do love it. We shall see if it's what is meant to be.
If that is the case though- I will wait to get my pool pass from the Lombard pool rather than the Orland park pool. Then I'll start swimming. I wonder if I can get my iPOD under water and still listen to it!??!?! Music helps me a TON!
What do you think tri-level home w/ finished basement-decent sized bedrooms and SMALL kitchen? OR one level home with big kitchen, big living room, decent bedrooms, and no basement? Both have 3 bedrooms... both have big back yards...
I'm trying to visualize a playroom, my office... etc in the smaller house.... thoughts?! suggestions?! opinions?!
Big house is in the town we want to live in but on the wrong side of town, and little house is in a different town- close but not our town of choice. Of course little house is cheaper & very open... huge kitchen... hmm decisions decisions
I also have a FULL workout room- weights, treadmill, elliptical, bars, bands etc etc Could I stash all of that plus playroom toys in a big living room with no other place to put it?!?!
Anyway- that's about it for now. Just dealing with crazy hormones, mentally, physically, and hopefully i'll get them under control soon.
Wish me luck that I'll have good news eventually.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
The Chaos of the day
Today was scheduled for my HCG shot. I had to take it between 7-9AM.
Hal was suppose to give it to me. I had the directions, I had watched the video on how to give this shot. I had the medicine, the needles etc etc
Well Hal got called into work at 7AM so he was out to help me. His mom whom was visiting with us and a nurse was willing to help but she had left yesterday for vacation.
We asked our family friend to help- she's a nurse so we thought it'd be perfect!
I got up and left the house at 6:45AM so get to her house around 7:30 for my shot before she left for work. I got to her house, rang the bell, came inside with my medicine, only to find out that the bottle of medicine had been broken. Here I was with 1.5 hours of time to take this shot and a broken bottle of medicine. NOW WHAT?
She told me to get to my doctor ASAP.
I called in the emergency line to get help for a new prescription. They sent me down another 30 minutes or so to pick up this prescription. I finally got my hands on new meds by 8:30AM and was out $200.00! When my original was covered 100% by insurance.
The doc asked that I come into the office for the shot now that I was strapped for time to get it done.
Did you ever realize how crazy infertility really is? it's all time sensitive- your body- your meds- your procedures- everything works around a specific time and NO you can't pick the time. Your body picks it.
You get calls DAILY in the afternoon after you have bloodwork done which is every other day- and they give you updates on how much medicine to take and at what time to take it.... talk about a '2nd job!'
So finally by 9am I got to the hospital where they helped give me the shot. I was told this was a FIRST! Never have any patients ever had a broken bottle of medicine!!! I said hopefully this is the only fluke for this cycle!
I finally got home around 11am. So tired after nearly putting in 100 miles first thing this morning. I did get frustrated and nearly cried to the answering service who couldn't figure out if this was an emergency or not. (IDIOTS)
I know I am pumped with a TON of hormones right now... so my moods are crazy. I'm super hungry. I'm puffier than ever. Everything is bloated out. it's great.
I can only hope that it pays off and soon!
Do you KNOW HOW HARD it is to be a FITNESS coach and be GROWING w/out a BABY inside?!?!? IT BLOWS!!!! It SUCKS!!!
Learn from me- check all your meds when you are getting them shipped to your house from the special pharmacies. You just NEVER EVER KNOW!!!!
I pray all of this stress soon pays off and I get a healthy baby or 2.
Hal was suppose to give it to me. I had the directions, I had watched the video on how to give this shot. I had the medicine, the needles etc etc
Well Hal got called into work at 7AM so he was out to help me. His mom whom was visiting with us and a nurse was willing to help but she had left yesterday for vacation.
We asked our family friend to help- she's a nurse so we thought it'd be perfect!
I got up and left the house at 6:45AM so get to her house around 7:30 for my shot before she left for work. I got to her house, rang the bell, came inside with my medicine, only to find out that the bottle of medicine had been broken. Here I was with 1.5 hours of time to take this shot and a broken bottle of medicine. NOW WHAT?
She told me to get to my doctor ASAP.
I called in the emergency line to get help for a new prescription. They sent me down another 30 minutes or so to pick up this prescription. I finally got my hands on new meds by 8:30AM and was out $200.00! When my original was covered 100% by insurance.
The doc asked that I come into the office for the shot now that I was strapped for time to get it done.
Did you ever realize how crazy infertility really is? it's all time sensitive- your body- your meds- your procedures- everything works around a specific time and NO you can't pick the time. Your body picks it.
You get calls DAILY in the afternoon after you have bloodwork done which is every other day- and they give you updates on how much medicine to take and at what time to take it.... talk about a '2nd job!'
So finally by 9am I got to the hospital where they helped give me the shot. I was told this was a FIRST! Never have any patients ever had a broken bottle of medicine!!! I said hopefully this is the only fluke for this cycle!
I finally got home around 11am. So tired after nearly putting in 100 miles first thing this morning. I did get frustrated and nearly cried to the answering service who couldn't figure out if this was an emergency or not. (IDIOTS)
I know I am pumped with a TON of hormones right now... so my moods are crazy. I'm super hungry. I'm puffier than ever. Everything is bloated out. it's great.
I can only hope that it pays off and soon!
Do you KNOW HOW HARD it is to be a FITNESS coach and be GROWING w/out a BABY inside?!?!? IT BLOWS!!!! It SUCKS!!!
Learn from me- check all your meds when you are getting them shipped to your house from the special pharmacies. You just NEVER EVER KNOW!!!!
I pray all of this stress soon pays off and I get a healthy baby or 2.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Doctor Checks
I decided over the weekend I wanted to look into the credentials of the doctors I'm using :)
I never thought about where they've studied or their success stories so I figured I'd definitely look into this.
Here's what I found out:
1. Dr Roth- Loyola University & Rush University out of Chicago- BIG schools- GREAT educations!
2. Dr Levin- Pittsburgh, Northwestern, & UCLA! More BIG schools & educations!
They both rated 4-4.5 out of 5! Not to shabby!
Guess I have landed in the correct place for a reason.
I also found out today that my insurance covers what I'm going through 100%. Talk about a blessing.
I am 1 round away from IVF, since switching doctors- Dr. Levin decided to try the injection/IUI round since it worked for him. He has twins. So does Dr. Roth. funny how I'm dealing with 2 docs who both have twins. hmmmmm
Anyway- please make sure you have GREAT health insurance. It's CRUCIAL for this kind of a situation. I still can't get over the fact that it's 100% covered. Never have I experienced that!
So- I'm still doing shots until further notice. Double dosed.
I find I'm super hot these days... I'm guessing the out of control hormones.
I work in the fitness business & naturally I should be fit & in shape but of course the injections cause you to bloat, be puffy, and gain weight. Sooo that is quite the fight. I have to remember this is temporary and a good thing to bring together a family. Then I can do all the fitness I want after :)
I do look forward to that day when I'm super fit & a mom of 2-3 !!! It'll be one awesome day!
I'm glad that I already have my own business in health & fitness that allows me to be able to stay home with my babies when they finally get here!
Want more info on working from home? email me at lyndsiweise@comcast.net OR check out my website- www.lyndsiweisefitness.com You can also find me on Facebook- www.facebook.com/lyndsi.weise
I never thought about where they've studied or their success stories so I figured I'd definitely look into this.
Here's what I found out:
1. Dr Roth- Loyola University & Rush University out of Chicago- BIG schools- GREAT educations!
2. Dr Levin- Pittsburgh, Northwestern, & UCLA! More BIG schools & educations!
They both rated 4-4.5 out of 5! Not to shabby!
Guess I have landed in the correct place for a reason.
I also found out today that my insurance covers what I'm going through 100%. Talk about a blessing.
I am 1 round away from IVF, since switching doctors- Dr. Levin decided to try the injection/IUI round since it worked for him. He has twins. So does Dr. Roth. funny how I'm dealing with 2 docs who both have twins. hmmmmm
Anyway- please make sure you have GREAT health insurance. It's CRUCIAL for this kind of a situation. I still can't get over the fact that it's 100% covered. Never have I experienced that!
So- I'm still doing shots until further notice. Double dosed.
I find I'm super hot these days... I'm guessing the out of control hormones.
I work in the fitness business & naturally I should be fit & in shape but of course the injections cause you to bloat, be puffy, and gain weight. Sooo that is quite the fight. I have to remember this is temporary and a good thing to bring together a family. Then I can do all the fitness I want after :)
I do look forward to that day when I'm super fit & a mom of 2-3 !!! It'll be one awesome day!
I'm glad that I already have my own business in health & fitness that allows me to be able to stay home with my babies when they finally get here!
Want more info on working from home? email me at lyndsiweise@comcast.net OR check out my website- www.lyndsiweisefitness.com You can also find me on Facebook- www.facebook.com/lyndsi.weise
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Keeping up with Injections
I missed a couple days on my updates for the injection meds so let me catch you up.
Basically with injections it goes MUCH longer than Clomid or Letrozole/Femara. You pretty much inject the meds until you get to the point to trigger ovulation.
So today is day 7 of the injections. I went to the doc yesterday morning to check out my follicle growth... there are 3 growing on my ride side- one of which is leading big time in size. this is a benefit. Now of course if all 3 got fertilized then that means triplets who do not look alike. CRAZY to think about. Unlikely though :)
The doc checked my blood and called me with updates in the afternoon on dosage.
If you get these injections you will get an update every day in the afternoon of your blood level- which I'm not even going to try to explain. I don't want to confuse you.
So anyway- the doc called me to update and told me to double my dosage. I'm like good lord body can you just respond!!
I then went back to the doc today for more monitoring. You see when you're in this position you do what your body does. We run the process based on my body, not mind.
I am continuing on my double dosages for now. Back to the doc Tuesday.
The injections will make your stomach PUFF out- okay so I look FAT. haha. How else do I say it? I'm VERY bloated and prego looking if you will. It sucks. You can feel the twinges of your ovaries growing. You can't cross your legs, you can't sit indian style, you can't bend, no lifting, no exercise except for walking or limited swimming (thank god it's summertime).
We went to a wedding this weekend and I could not dance at the wedding, and if you know me. You know I LOVE to dance. So that was difficult to not get up and start bouncing around.
I can't be cold/shivering. Not that one would want to be cold & shivering but it's bad for what I'm dealing with.
I am super bummed on the fitness end because I have worked SOOOOO hard to get in shape and this is moving backwards for me.... now I have to keep reminding myself that THIS IS TEMPORARY! I will get the best gift in the world this way and I can workout all I want after :) It's a hard pill to swallow when you have worked so hard to lose weight and get in shape.
I think overall its not so bad if you can deal with sticking yourself with needles daily. they are not too painful. Just annoying is all.
Worst part of my weekend is that another freshly pregnant lady asked me if I was in the same boat as her... or assumed and it was like 'well no... trying..hard to explain...'
That was hard. Just because I don't have the happy news...and I still basically have to act as if I truly am pregnant- no drinking- no exercise etc etc And naturally that sucks when we know there is NO baby YET!
BUT I truly believe there will be great news SOON!!!
xoxo
Basically with injections it goes MUCH longer than Clomid or Letrozole/Femara. You pretty much inject the meds until you get to the point to trigger ovulation.
So today is day 7 of the injections. I went to the doc yesterday morning to check out my follicle growth... there are 3 growing on my ride side- one of which is leading big time in size. this is a benefit. Now of course if all 3 got fertilized then that means triplets who do not look alike. CRAZY to think about. Unlikely though :)
The doc checked my blood and called me with updates in the afternoon on dosage.
If you get these injections you will get an update every day in the afternoon of your blood level- which I'm not even going to try to explain. I don't want to confuse you.
So anyway- the doc called me to update and told me to double my dosage. I'm like good lord body can you just respond!!
I then went back to the doc today for more monitoring. You see when you're in this position you do what your body does. We run the process based on my body, not mind.
I am continuing on my double dosages for now. Back to the doc Tuesday.
The injections will make your stomach PUFF out- okay so I look FAT. haha. How else do I say it? I'm VERY bloated and prego looking if you will. It sucks. You can feel the twinges of your ovaries growing. You can't cross your legs, you can't sit indian style, you can't bend, no lifting, no exercise except for walking or limited swimming (thank god it's summertime).
We went to a wedding this weekend and I could not dance at the wedding, and if you know me. You know I LOVE to dance. So that was difficult to not get up and start bouncing around.
I can't be cold/shivering. Not that one would want to be cold & shivering but it's bad for what I'm dealing with.
I am super bummed on the fitness end because I have worked SOOOOO hard to get in shape and this is moving backwards for me.... now I have to keep reminding myself that THIS IS TEMPORARY! I will get the best gift in the world this way and I can workout all I want after :) It's a hard pill to swallow when you have worked so hard to lose weight and get in shape.
I think overall its not so bad if you can deal with sticking yourself with needles daily. they are not too painful. Just annoying is all.
Worst part of my weekend is that another freshly pregnant lady asked me if I was in the same boat as her... or assumed and it was like 'well no... trying..hard to explain...'
That was hard. Just because I don't have the happy news...and I still basically have to act as if I truly am pregnant- no drinking- no exercise etc etc And naturally that sucks when we know there is NO baby YET!
BUT I truly believe there will be great news SOON!!!
xoxo
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Day 2 injections
Day 2 of my injections....
Bailey decided to jump on me today- he is my Puggle about 2 years old and 25lbs of pure muscle. When he jumps & lands it ain't pretty! The doctors want me to set up gates so he wont jump for the next couple weeks. I guess injections are going to make my ovaries nice and large...exciting right? ha!
So the bloating is slowly beginning. I seem to be overly hungry on these and my body temp is crazy. I'm cold then warm then cold. I feel like my stomach is sticking far out which sucks.
I'm trying to stay positive and focus on making sure I dont bend over, or bounce around the house, or over exert myself. Seriously I can't even WORKOUT. All I do is walk. It's so not lyndsi. I'm soooo not myself with this. BUT I am trying to remain normal and stay positive as best I can.
Preparing for a long busy weekend coming up is kind of a struggle but I think it will be okay. I wish I could just be normal Lyndsi again. Not have to worry about plans and just going with the flow for the weekend but that's not how things roll for me right now. I have to plan out my meds, they have to refridgerated as well as taken on time. It's a lot of clean/prep work to add the new needle, clean it up, dial up then poke and clean up after that.
I do miss being normal and having a normal life. I pray no one has to deal with infertility. It's an absolute nightmare.
I also want to encourage those who ARE going through this to SPEAK UP with your doctors!!! They will listen if you SPEAK UP! Because I spoke up my doctors have been very aggressive moving forward for me. If you dont speak up you're only going to move slow and waiting is truly the hardest part (thank you tom petty)
Today while injecting I noticed another needle in my kit and GOOD GOD is it HUGE. I am NOT looking forward to THAT!
I'll show you a picture here of this lovely needle.
I'm going to take a wild guess that its used for the HCG trigger shot later.
wish me luck as the process continues! I will keep you posted. Night Night!
Bailey decided to jump on me today- he is my Puggle about 2 years old and 25lbs of pure muscle. When he jumps & lands it ain't pretty! The doctors want me to set up gates so he wont jump for the next couple weeks. I guess injections are going to make my ovaries nice and large...exciting right? ha!
So the bloating is slowly beginning. I seem to be overly hungry on these and my body temp is crazy. I'm cold then warm then cold. I feel like my stomach is sticking far out which sucks.
I'm trying to stay positive and focus on making sure I dont bend over, or bounce around the house, or over exert myself. Seriously I can't even WORKOUT. All I do is walk. It's so not lyndsi. I'm soooo not myself with this. BUT I am trying to remain normal and stay positive as best I can.
Preparing for a long busy weekend coming up is kind of a struggle but I think it will be okay. I wish I could just be normal Lyndsi again. Not have to worry about plans and just going with the flow for the weekend but that's not how things roll for me right now. I have to plan out my meds, they have to refridgerated as well as taken on time. It's a lot of clean/prep work to add the new needle, clean it up, dial up then poke and clean up after that.
I do miss being normal and having a normal life. I pray no one has to deal with infertility. It's an absolute nightmare.
I also want to encourage those who ARE going through this to SPEAK UP with your doctors!!! They will listen if you SPEAK UP! Because I spoke up my doctors have been very aggressive moving forward for me. If you dont speak up you're only going to move slow and waiting is truly the hardest part (thank you tom petty)
Today while injecting I noticed another needle in my kit and GOOD GOD is it HUGE. I am NOT looking forward to THAT!
I'll show you a picture here of this lovely needle.
I'm going to take a wild guess that its used for the HCG trigger shot later.
wish me luck as the process continues! I will keep you posted. Night Night!
Monday, May 21, 2012
Injections Begin
Hey Everyone!
Like I wrote in the last post.... I thought my cycle had started 2 weeks ago when in reality it did NOT! It started a week ago which my complaining in my previous post about switching doctors and losing out on 1 cycle really was God holding it off so I could get situated since I need to use injection medicine & IVF!
So that is very exciting. On a negative note though I may forfeit a couple amazing business trips because of timing BUT this is family we are talking about :)
The doctor ordered me my first set of injections- they come to you in the mail in a cooler. You have to keep them cold in the fridge!
Today was my first injection. I went to get monitored and the doctor found 15 follicles on one ovary and 8 on the other. Do you know how many babies that is?!?! Dont you just love this disease?!??!
GOOD LORD! The biggest risk is that multiples are an option. I'm okay with that at this point.
I learned how to use the 'pen'. We add the medicine to it, as well as a fresh new needle each time. I then stuck it into my FAT! ha!! and pushed the button and in went the medicine. There was a small burning feeling after which I assume means it worked. I forgot to clean that area after. OOPS.
Tomorrow is shot #2. I am getting comfortable already!
I go back to the hospital on Thursday to be monitored and see how the follicles are coming along.
The hope is that only 1-4 grow and not all of them. Otherwise they will cancel this cycle.
I have to say I do miss my primary doc. He's great and so laid back. These guys are a big more uptight, super friendly but not near as laid back as Dr. Roth and his staff. So I pray I get success soon so I can be released back to him!
The benefit is that I did not pay 1 cent for my medicine and so far am not paying much for my appointments either. Which is KEY to helping with infertility. It gets SUPER expensive.
The negative is that I ALWAYS have to go to the hospital. Parking there SUCKS. I get super frustrated with it. Then I get lost in the hospital as I'm still learning my way. This is the hospital I will one day give birth in, so I guess it's fair that I learn now. Might as well right!? Here is to hoping this round works!
I will keep you posted as we move forward. Keep me in your prayers that these follicles calm themselves and I dont grow too many so we can continue!
xoxo good night
Like I wrote in the last post.... I thought my cycle had started 2 weeks ago when in reality it did NOT! It started a week ago which my complaining in my previous post about switching doctors and losing out on 1 cycle really was God holding it off so I could get situated since I need to use injection medicine & IVF!
So that is very exciting. On a negative note though I may forfeit a couple amazing business trips because of timing BUT this is family we are talking about :)
The doctor ordered me my first set of injections- they come to you in the mail in a cooler. You have to keep them cold in the fridge!
Today was my first injection. I went to get monitored and the doctor found 15 follicles on one ovary and 8 on the other. Do you know how many babies that is?!?! Dont you just love this disease?!??!
GOOD LORD! The biggest risk is that multiples are an option. I'm okay with that at this point.
I learned how to use the 'pen'. We add the medicine to it, as well as a fresh new needle each time. I then stuck it into my FAT! ha!! and pushed the button and in went the medicine. There was a small burning feeling after which I assume means it worked. I forgot to clean that area after. OOPS.
Tomorrow is shot #2. I am getting comfortable already!
I go back to the hospital on Thursday to be monitored and see how the follicles are coming along.
The hope is that only 1-4 grow and not all of them. Otherwise they will cancel this cycle.
I have to say I do miss my primary doc. He's great and so laid back. These guys are a big more uptight, super friendly but not near as laid back as Dr. Roth and his staff. So I pray I get success soon so I can be released back to him!
The benefit is that I did not pay 1 cent for my medicine and so far am not paying much for my appointments either. Which is KEY to helping with infertility. It gets SUPER expensive.
The negative is that I ALWAYS have to go to the hospital. Parking there SUCKS. I get super frustrated with it. Then I get lost in the hospital as I'm still learning my way. This is the hospital I will one day give birth in, so I guess it's fair that I learn now. Might as well right!? Here is to hoping this round works!
I will keep you posted as we move forward. Keep me in your prayers that these follicles calm themselves and I dont grow too many so we can continue!
xoxo good night
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
CYCLE CHANGE WHAT?!
TMI- fair warning!!! Stop reading now if you dont wanna know.
After the HSG I went home with some discomfort and was told I might see some discharge from the ink/dye and/or blood. But a light amount.
Well Sunday night a HUGE flow hit and I was like okay fair enough this is from the HSG. Fast Forward to today and I was like okay for real I still have a lot of this going on.
I called into the doc that I am now working with for the IVF/Injection procedure and they had me come in right away for an ultrasound to see what was going on. So I headed out to the doctor this afternoon and sure enough it looks as if my period is here.
Holy confusion batman!!! I swore it came on May 1st! Isn't this disease AWESOME!?!?! Apparently it's here now. They did run blood to be 100% sure that is correct. I will find out tomorrow for sure.
In the meantime they started me on my new meds- Clomid and then Gonadotrophins, also known as injections! Oh yes. I got sent home with a DVD explaining how to give myself shots. Exciting isn't it?!
I can't wait to stick myself daily with some medicine.
But when all is said & done if a healthy baby or 2 comes out of this, then it'll be well worth it.
For now I'll leave you with this video that hopefully helps you get the idea of what goes through the mind of a person dealing with infertility. Not every single thing she writes does go through our mind but most of these do.
After the HSG I went home with some discomfort and was told I might see some discharge from the ink/dye and/or blood. But a light amount.
Well Sunday night a HUGE flow hit and I was like okay fair enough this is from the HSG. Fast Forward to today and I was like okay for real I still have a lot of this going on.
I called into the doc that I am now working with for the IVF/Injection procedure and they had me come in right away for an ultrasound to see what was going on. So I headed out to the doctor this afternoon and sure enough it looks as if my period is here.
Holy confusion batman!!! I swore it came on May 1st! Isn't this disease AWESOME!?!?! Apparently it's here now. They did run blood to be 100% sure that is correct. I will find out tomorrow for sure.
In the meantime they started me on my new meds- Clomid and then Gonadotrophins, also known as injections! Oh yes. I got sent home with a DVD explaining how to give myself shots. Exciting isn't it?!
I can't wait to stick myself daily with some medicine.
But when all is said & done if a healthy baby or 2 comes out of this, then it'll be well worth it.
For now I'll leave you with this video that hopefully helps you get the idea of what goes through the mind of a person dealing with infertility. Not every single thing she writes does go through our mind but most of these do.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Mother's Day
I'm not gonna lie mothers day should be good, but it's kinda hard. It doesn't help that I'm in the midst of a detox and DYING for my everyday nutrition menu again.
Being on social media is hard a lot, it's tons and tons of happy pregnancy, baby picture, family picture posts and it's really hard. REALLY HARD. But who can blame everyone. I imagine I'd be doing the same thing if I was blessed to have a child.
The detox mixed with mothers day and infertility is NO BUENO!!!!
Hal and I talked a lot about what happens if I never have kids. I refuse to hear it. I refuse to even think that is the case. I fully believe I'm meant to have children in my life. I can't help but wonder if maybe God doesn't want me to have them... but I'm pretty sure he keeps his promises and he does.
Rough day. Not much else to say.
Good Night
Being on social media is hard a lot, it's tons and tons of happy pregnancy, baby picture, family picture posts and it's really hard. REALLY HARD. But who can blame everyone. I imagine I'd be doing the same thing if I was blessed to have a child.
The detox mixed with mothers day and infertility is NO BUENO!!!!
Hal and I talked a lot about what happens if I never have kids. I refuse to hear it. I refuse to even think that is the case. I fully believe I'm meant to have children in my life. I can't help but wonder if maybe God doesn't want me to have them... but I'm pretty sure he keeps his promises and he does.
Rough day. Not much else to say.
Good Night
Friday, May 11, 2012
HSG
Today has been REAL interesting. Enough that I can write yet again!
I spoke about the HSG yesterday and never really explained what exactly it was.
So check it out HSG
The doctor required it as does my insurance so lucky me. I get to have my own doctor do it. He requested I come to the hospital tomorrow for the procedure. I hear it's painful. I'm not excited. But I'll do what I have to, to have a family.
I was talking to the Verizon Wireless Rep and he wished me a Happy Mother's Day. NOT COOL! I understand the kindness but NOT COOL! Thanks for that reminder!!!! It's hard- I'd say it's best to not say anything at all. You never know what someone is going through and you can judge or assume.
It's a struggle like I've said, I get a lot of people who tell ME first they are prego. It's like what do I have 'PLEASE TELL ME!!' plastered to my head?!?!
I understand that excitement for sure. I will be the SAME way when my day comes. So I try to be happy and excited and ignore the fact that this is reality for me and IVF is waiting.
I told you yesterday that I cannot travel during these procedures because of blood flow, sitting too long, and all the monitoring. So the decision now is do I wait a month and travel or do I cancel my traveling?!
I want badly to be there for my team, for the pictures, and the memories. This is really difficult for me believe it or not.
With this disease you never know if a round is going to work or not. You never know if you're body is going to develop cysts that will scrap your round or if it will work.
I love being in the unknown. NOT!
I'm trying to enjoy this journey... really I am.
I was just thinking about how exercise has been cut from me yet I need to exercise. So I was thinking I could swim this summer. It's different, slow paced, or fast if I choose and I bet it wont affect my body! That's something to look forward to :)
Anyway- happy mothers day to those who are and those who are not keep pressing forward, one day it'll be for you too.
I spoke about the HSG yesterday and never really explained what exactly it was.
So check it out HSG
The doctor required it as does my insurance so lucky me. I get to have my own doctor do it. He requested I come to the hospital tomorrow for the procedure. I hear it's painful. I'm not excited. But I'll do what I have to, to have a family.
I was talking to the Verizon Wireless Rep and he wished me a Happy Mother's Day. NOT COOL! I understand the kindness but NOT COOL! Thanks for that reminder!!!! It's hard- I'd say it's best to not say anything at all. You never know what someone is going through and you can judge or assume.
It's a struggle like I've said, I get a lot of people who tell ME first they are prego. It's like what do I have 'PLEASE TELL ME!!' plastered to my head?!?!
I understand that excitement for sure. I will be the SAME way when my day comes. So I try to be happy and excited and ignore the fact that this is reality for me and IVF is waiting.
I told you yesterday that I cannot travel during these procedures because of blood flow, sitting too long, and all the monitoring. So the decision now is do I wait a month and travel or do I cancel my traveling?!
I want badly to be there for my team, for the pictures, and the memories. This is really difficult for me believe it or not.
With this disease you never know if a round is going to work or not. You never know if you're body is going to develop cysts that will scrap your round or if it will work.
I love being in the unknown. NOT!
I'm trying to enjoy this journey... really I am.
I was just thinking about how exercise has been cut from me yet I need to exercise. So I was thinking I could swim this summer. It's different, slow paced, or fast if I choose and I bet it wont affect my body! That's something to look forward to :)
Anyway- happy mothers day to those who are and those who are not keep pressing forward, one day it'll be for you too.
Friday, May 4, 2012
Unexpected Updates
Let me start out by saying HEALTH INSURANCE SUCKS!
The day I was getting started with my round of Injections/IVF the doc called for pre-approval of everything by insurance.
Now lets talk about insurance.... I own my own business which basically tells you I dont have insurance. Small biz life! It's bittersweet! I do love it though!
Hal put me on his insurance and to make it cost efficient as he does work for a small biz too. We had been on a flexible spending/savings because naturally we're young healthy people right?
HA!!!! Talk about a change!!! Who ever knew this disease would come to me. Well I guess I've had it forever, but you know what I mean. I just found out about it at 29 yrs old practically 30. Scary huh?
Well when open enrollment took place we decided to go with the HMO plan... note to self... when you are not healthy... choose PPO.
Fast forward back to the day of insurance pre-approval before Injections began. I got a call that my doctor could NOT do the procedures on me, that the insurance company had sub-contracted out all IVF/Injection procedures to a new facility. REALLY?
You mean to tell me the doctor that I specifically changed my insurance for CANT even treat me now?
We have been trying to fight it... but in the meantime I'm meeting the new doctor next week and I guess preparing for procedures with him.
I had to go in and get some paperwork/updated charts from my doc. The good news is he can treat me once I am successfully pregnant. So that is nice to know, and really I can't complain... i could not have insurance at all.
But COME ON!!! I switched JUST to have this doc. I lost all my other doctors. Can you imagine?! After going through cycle after cycle....
My doc wants to know everything going on so that is good to know.
Everything happens for a reason right?! They say you're go through a super dark valley in life before the sun shines.... I am DEF in that valley. Been here too long....I hope the sun will shine soon.
In the meantime I am doing a Detox. It's a 21 day Vegetarian moved into Vegan style. Lots of great clean whole foods in it. You never go hungry! But it helps to release the toxins and chemicals... and there have been a couple studies that toxins and chemicals are part of PCOS...so.. what would it hurt?! After all I did lose this cycle round. Might as well! Hal is doing it with me. There have been amazing results on it! Lowered Cholesterol, weight loss, even cellulite removal!!! It's from all the toxins! The pollution in the air, the detergent in our laundry, processed foods etc! All the toxins who happily stay put in our bodies! I am stoked for my results and shockingly the food tastes amazing! You can't really exercise on this so that's good considering I got the restraint! check it out! www.myultimatereset.com/fitnessfourlife
So my patience needs to be high, the wait for this is going to seem like forever, although May is a super busy month... when you go through infertility it's like being a kid waiting for your birthday. No Joke.
That's all for now! Good Night!
The day I was getting started with my round of Injections/IVF the doc called for pre-approval of everything by insurance.
Now lets talk about insurance.... I own my own business which basically tells you I dont have insurance. Small biz life! It's bittersweet! I do love it though!
Hal put me on his insurance and to make it cost efficient as he does work for a small biz too. We had been on a flexible spending/savings because naturally we're young healthy people right?
HA!!!! Talk about a change!!! Who ever knew this disease would come to me. Well I guess I've had it forever, but you know what I mean. I just found out about it at 29 yrs old practically 30. Scary huh?
Well when open enrollment took place we decided to go with the HMO plan... note to self... when you are not healthy... choose PPO.
Fast forward back to the day of insurance pre-approval before Injections began. I got a call that my doctor could NOT do the procedures on me, that the insurance company had sub-contracted out all IVF/Injection procedures to a new facility. REALLY?
You mean to tell me the doctor that I specifically changed my insurance for CANT even treat me now?
We have been trying to fight it... but in the meantime I'm meeting the new doctor next week and I guess preparing for procedures with him.
I had to go in and get some paperwork/updated charts from my doc. The good news is he can treat me once I am successfully pregnant. So that is nice to know, and really I can't complain... i could not have insurance at all.
But COME ON!!! I switched JUST to have this doc. I lost all my other doctors. Can you imagine?! After going through cycle after cycle....
My doc wants to know everything going on so that is good to know.
Everything happens for a reason right?! They say you're go through a super dark valley in life before the sun shines.... I am DEF in that valley. Been here too long....I hope the sun will shine soon.
In the meantime I am doing a Detox. It's a 21 day Vegetarian moved into Vegan style. Lots of great clean whole foods in it. You never go hungry! But it helps to release the toxins and chemicals... and there have been a couple studies that toxins and chemicals are part of PCOS...so.. what would it hurt?! After all I did lose this cycle round. Might as well! Hal is doing it with me. There have been amazing results on it! Lowered Cholesterol, weight loss, even cellulite removal!!! It's from all the toxins! The pollution in the air, the detergent in our laundry, processed foods etc! All the toxins who happily stay put in our bodies! I am stoked for my results and shockingly the food tastes amazing! You can't really exercise on this so that's good considering I got the restraint! check it out! www.myultimatereset.com/fitnessfourlife
So my patience needs to be high, the wait for this is going to seem like forever, although May is a super busy month... when you go through infertility it's like being a kid waiting for your birthday. No Joke.
That's all for now! Good Night!
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
When will Rock Bottom FINALLY hit?!
Today I mark 15 months of dealing with infertility/trying to conceive etc
It's one of those days when you wake up and think it was just a dream right?? I am FINALLY here? Finally past this nightmare?
I was at the White Sox game last night and AC/DC Thunderstruck started (intro to game song) and we had used Thunderstruck when we were first introduced and Mr & Mrs Hal Weise at our wedding.... I felt an excitement when I heard the song- it reminded me of happy days. SUPER HAPPY... I should say.
Because today I am happy, but I guess I don't feel complete.... and that is super scary to say right? Aren't you suppose to feel complete? Yeah I did back then... now here I am going on 2 years of being married- not long I know but I'm also going on 31 years old and I'd like to have 2, honestly if that's all God will give me. I'd take it. And I'd like to run young with them.
You're probably wondering why I'm not discussing IVF treatments as they should've started today.
Well sadly the Insurance company has declined allowing my doctor to treat me. He's trying to make it work, but it's not looking good. I will get sent to a new facility. They decided to sub-contract out to a new treatment center and wont cover me going to him... as of right now. He is trying to help if he can.
Do you know what that is like? Honestly. I LIVE in my doctors office- I go there every other day and get greeted by my first name. They know me, I know them- my doctor CALLS me on the phone rather than me having to talk to a nurse about ANYTHING with this subject.
I've NEVER had that kind of a doctor before. And now insurance wants to take that away.
I specifically switched to this insurance just to HAVE THIS DOCTOR. I lost EVERY other doctor I EVER had because I had to switch plans to have Dr. Roth, and now I'm being told I can't even use him anymore.
Going to a new center means ALL New treatment ALL OVER- new checks- things I've already done.
I HATE INFERTILITY. I HATE MY BODY RIGHT NOW FOR THIS DISEASE
IS THIS ROCK BOTTOM OR WHAT?! Honest to God. It's hard enough to be riding this roller coaster just to have a family, it's a non-stop fight.
I believe your family will feel complete when you have one or two little ones with you and your husband/wife. It's a different kind of happy I think. What do I know. But I think it's more of a complete feeling and that super happy life... the one you thought you'd have... little did you know you'd have miscarriages and deal with infertility.
There has to be an uphill soon. right?... or maybe this isn't meant for me?
It's one of those days when you wake up and think it was just a dream right?? I am FINALLY here? Finally past this nightmare?
I was at the White Sox game last night and AC/DC Thunderstruck started (intro to game song) and we had used Thunderstruck when we were first introduced and Mr & Mrs Hal Weise at our wedding.... I felt an excitement when I heard the song- it reminded me of happy days. SUPER HAPPY... I should say.
Because today I am happy, but I guess I don't feel complete.... and that is super scary to say right? Aren't you suppose to feel complete? Yeah I did back then... now here I am going on 2 years of being married- not long I know but I'm also going on 31 years old and I'd like to have 2, honestly if that's all God will give me. I'd take it. And I'd like to run young with them.
You're probably wondering why I'm not discussing IVF treatments as they should've started today.
Well sadly the Insurance company has declined allowing my doctor to treat me. He's trying to make it work, but it's not looking good. I will get sent to a new facility. They decided to sub-contract out to a new treatment center and wont cover me going to him... as of right now. He is trying to help if he can.
Do you know what that is like? Honestly. I LIVE in my doctors office- I go there every other day and get greeted by my first name. They know me, I know them- my doctor CALLS me on the phone rather than me having to talk to a nurse about ANYTHING with this subject.
I've NEVER had that kind of a doctor before. And now insurance wants to take that away.
I specifically switched to this insurance just to HAVE THIS DOCTOR. I lost EVERY other doctor I EVER had because I had to switch plans to have Dr. Roth, and now I'm being told I can't even use him anymore.
Going to a new center means ALL New treatment ALL OVER- new checks- things I've already done.
I HATE INFERTILITY. I HATE MY BODY RIGHT NOW FOR THIS DISEASE
IS THIS ROCK BOTTOM OR WHAT?! Honest to God. It's hard enough to be riding this roller coaster just to have a family, it's a non-stop fight.
I believe your family will feel complete when you have one or two little ones with you and your husband/wife. It's a different kind of happy I think. What do I know. But I think it's more of a complete feeling and that super happy life... the one you thought you'd have... little did you know you'd have miscarriages and deal with infertility.
There has to be an uphill soon. right?... or maybe this isn't meant for me?
Monday, April 30, 2012
Etiquette- Do's & Don'ts & a look inside PCOS emotions
Here is some thoughts to read on if you THINK you understand Infertility but YOU DONT suffer from it!
Infertility Etiquette
Read and DO!
And please next time you judge that fat girl laced with acne on her face, hair falling out, and if you get close enough to see facial hair WATCH yourself- Those are ALL part of this NASTY disease that THEY CANNOT HELP!!! It's all in the hormone mix!
do you want to understand what a girl with PCOS deals with?! Do you want to see how painful it is?
Watch this..... copy & paste the link!
http://youtu.be/rM4nIYvZ7sU
This is exactly what its like.... a roller coaster that we can only one day hope ends happy & soon!
That's all for today!
Sunday, April 29, 2012
IVF Broken Down
Lets talk about how IVF works, prices, process, percentages etc etc You get where I'm going with this!
PRICE!!!! Highest is $15K lowest is $7500! Insurance DOES cover THANK GOD!!!
Payment plans are available, I want to say coverage is usually 50-80% and these totals do include EVERYTHING. Now $7500 is likely JUST the IVF section, not the daily ultrasound monitoring, bloodwork, injection meds, HCG shot, progesterone ETC!
This link pretty much sums it all up! Click to read if you choose IVF DETAILS!
A couple pieces that stand out to me...
30-35% chance!
Big Risk is MULTIPLES!!!!
10lb weight gain in 3-5 days- REALLY?! Give me a break!
10lb weight gain in 3-5 days- REALLY?! Give me a break!
Sedation at the Egg Retrieval??? yikes! Seems I'll be in the hospital or doc's office for most of the day when that happens. I better make sure my phone is charged!!! Potential Bed Rest?! THIS GIRL!?!? Do they know I live and breathe fitness?!?!?!!!
Injections can be 1-4 a day for up to 10 days!!!!
More monitoring with IVF/Injections..basically I have to go to doc every day/other day depending.
OOOH exciting! My home away from home
Embryo's can be frozen for future babies.... Dear Lord I'll take 2 healthy twins or triplets- 1 and done!
I read there is a 25% chance for twins, 15% for triplets but higher for 1!
Miscarriage occurs 15% of the time- not cool.
Progesterone supps may come alone... hmmm hopefully they are the KEY!
PRICE!!!! Highest is $15K lowest is $7500! Insurance DOES cover THANK GOD!!!
Payment plans are available, I want to say coverage is usually 50-80% and these totals do include EVERYTHING. Now $7500 is likely JUST the IVF section, not the daily ultrasound monitoring, bloodwork, injection meds, HCG shot, progesterone ETC!
good lawd!
This is me being optimistic! It's worth it right!!!!
Okay so fill me in on your thoughts about IVF, experiences, and wish me luck. It's coming up SOON!
Happy Infertility Awareness Week... I think...
Monday, April 23, 2012
Exciting News Gives Hope!
Well I thought I'd be writing about this TOMORROW but since they decided to release their news early I am SO excited to write that Giuliana and Bill Rancic are having a baby!!!!!
I have been watching these guys for YEARS!!! I have prayed for them like crazy!!!! I know exactly what they are going through- but not ALL of it-cancer was quite the curveball she was thrown. Scary stuff!!!
I am soooo happy to hear their good news that the are FINALLY having a baby!!!! They are having one through a gestational carrier, because Giuliana is unable to hold a baby, take on the fertility medicine with having just gotten rid of cancer.
Check out People.com, or twitter for all the deets- the video of when they got the news!!!! They have a little one due here in late summer.
So lets see... this leaves me still left but this also gives me hope... since IVF is up next and if that fails, I guess I do have another option :) Crazy as it may be... we shall see what the future holds for us.
It also happens to be infertility awareness week- crazy timing right?!?! I read this article today:
http://fitbottomedmamas.com/2012/04/lets-talk-about-the-hard-stuff-national-infertility-awareness-week/
Still can't believe I'm on of these people. I wake up somedays thinking... it's a joke right?! This isn't really happening right?!?!
But here's the thing... if you know me- I am a PROACTIVE-GO GETTER!!! I dont own my own successful business for NOTHING!!! I WORK HARD, I walk through FIRES like none other. I've walked through MANY so far. The curveballs I've been thrown have been unreal, but I've also been blessed with a pretty awesome life if I must say so :) Can't complain!!! Just wanna have some littles to join this world and complete it!!! That being said- I think we ALL know I will likely walk through whatever FIRE i have to to get them here... Is Hal reading this?! ha!!! He wants some littles too- so I'm gonna speak for him and say he's on board with me!
We will get there... we may have to fight and walk through a lot of fire. But we will not let this disease own us. I wont anyway... I'm going to have negative days... it is what it is- rollercoaster- no getting around that. So I will have my days- but I likely wont stop- I wont stop till I'm dead. I'm pretty sure of it.
I hope Hal is ready :) He's worked hard all his life and now he's experiencing a crazy journey in life with the cards we've been handed. Makes you appreciate your kids A WHOLE LOT MORE!
Those of you who have them- take care of them, don't abuse them, don't take advantage of them, they are a blessing and deserve the best. Dont EVER look at them like they invaded your time, your life etc I have had to work SO hard to get some, and still dont have any. Know how blessed you are to be naturally given one, two, three or however many you have.
That is all for today.
I have been watching these guys for YEARS!!! I have prayed for them like crazy!!!! I know exactly what they are going through- but not ALL of it-cancer was quite the curveball she was thrown. Scary stuff!!!
I am soooo happy to hear their good news that the are FINALLY having a baby!!!! They are having one through a gestational carrier, because Giuliana is unable to hold a baby, take on the fertility medicine with having just gotten rid of cancer.
Check out People.com, or twitter for all the deets- the video of when they got the news!!!! They have a little one due here in late summer.
So lets see... this leaves me still left but this also gives me hope... since IVF is up next and if that fails, I guess I do have another option :) Crazy as it may be... we shall see what the future holds for us.
It also happens to be infertility awareness week- crazy timing right?!?! I read this article today:
http://fitbottomedmamas.com/2012/04/lets-talk-about-the-hard-stuff-national-infertility-awareness-week/
Still can't believe I'm on of these people. I wake up somedays thinking... it's a joke right?! This isn't really happening right?!?!
But here's the thing... if you know me- I am a PROACTIVE-GO GETTER!!! I dont own my own successful business for NOTHING!!! I WORK HARD, I walk through FIRES like none other. I've walked through MANY so far. The curveballs I've been thrown have been unreal, but I've also been blessed with a pretty awesome life if I must say so :) Can't complain!!! Just wanna have some littles to join this world and complete it!!! That being said- I think we ALL know I will likely walk through whatever FIRE i have to to get them here... Is Hal reading this?! ha!!! He wants some littles too- so I'm gonna speak for him and say he's on board with me!
We will get there... we may have to fight and walk through a lot of fire. But we will not let this disease own us. I wont anyway... I'm going to have negative days... it is what it is- rollercoaster- no getting around that. So I will have my days- but I likely wont stop- I wont stop till I'm dead. I'm pretty sure of it.
I hope Hal is ready :) He's worked hard all his life and now he's experiencing a crazy journey in life with the cards we've been handed. Makes you appreciate your kids A WHOLE LOT MORE!
Those of you who have them- take care of them, don't abuse them, don't take advantage of them, they are a blessing and deserve the best. Dont EVER look at them like they invaded your time, your life etc I have had to work SO hard to get some, and still dont have any. Know how blessed you are to be naturally given one, two, three or however many you have.
That is all for today.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Round 5, Exercise & MULTIPLES?!??!
We are starting a fresh new week! I am stoked to see what happens with the Rancic family this week! I hope good baby news!!!
Moving onto Round 5!
Yet again the doc was NOT happy with Femara/Letrozole.... and well I think round 5, perhaps this is round 6. Who knows I lost count. Have I discussed Clomid yet?!
Okay let me sum it up!
So Dr Roth was NOT happy with the last round of 7.5 mg of Letrozole/Femara. It was my first IUI experience- which mind you I paid CASH for. You can't always get the procedure covered- you need a certain amount of good ovulation rounds and well lets face it- I RARELY get a good round.... my progesterone level came back at 4.5- honestly? What is the deal ? Why oh why is this happening to me!!! He officially took me off Letrozole/Femara and moved me to Clomid- the high dose too! 150mg right away!!! It was bigger pills, and more!
We started the monitoring... the follicles... which are what are forced to grow- because without a mature follicle, the egg will be too small and if it releases- which it should-but with PCOS it doesn't always (enter in HCG shot). OF COURSE growth DID NOT happen. Why would it?!?!
So I went in on CD 14 it was Monday- I had just started Les Mills Pump the workout program! I was STOKED! I had graduated P90X that Friday before and now I was onto the next program. I had leaned out and felt great in this process. Honestly sweat is all I can do to keep me sane!!! It helps a TON!
I got my results that nothing was happening- the follicles were not growing... I sat in his office listening to his voice not happy about what he was seeing in the ultrasound shots and I was thinking ... dear lord why... so he looked up and said yeah... your body is not responding. Okay doc so injections with IUI are next right? (thinking in my mind this is what I'm going to hear....) Dr. Roth looks up and says next up will be injections with IVF. 'Excuse me?! what?!' I nearly fell out of my chair- did I just hear him, did he just say IVF?!?! He meant IUI right?! It's Monday- we're tired. I get it. 'You meant IUI right?'
'No InVITRO Fertilization!' 'Are you okay w/ injection medicine?'' ummmm do I have a choice?
Seriously?!?!?! Am I SERIOUSLY at IN VITRO FERTILIZATION!?!?!??!
Is this REALLY HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!??!?!
So I said 'perhaps my exercise is the reason this is failing...' 'Well what exactly do you do when you exercise?' he asked... 'Um I just graduated P90X.' WHAT!!!! He said no more exercise!!! I thought you were going to the gym and just doing some stuff... 'um EXCUSE me I'm a fitness coach...what do you think I am doing?!?!' HELLO!!! He totally knows what I do!!! So I am on exercise hault- I get 3X a week 30 min cardio... dear lord in heaven please oh PLEASE!!! I want my Turbo back!!! At least!!! I wanted to do PUMP so bad!!! I just wanna sweat!!!!! I miss weight lifting, I miss it all- hard as it is!!! I MISS IT!!!!
Okay I believe God has a plan and everything happens for a reason. I believe God answers EVERY prayer you ask of him... he wants the best for us all. Whatever your heart desires, he fufills.... SOOOOOO God what is GOING ON!?!?!??!
Yep... here we are IVF. Coming up on deck next! The doc scrapped the rest of this cycle and is waiting for me to get a period to start fresh and do IVF. Plus limited exercise :(
Perhaps God wants me to have more than 1 baby at once? Twins? Triplets? eeek that is something else!
I do not know what the plan for me is. I really dont. I wish I could read some book or see a video that shows me this part of my future. This is super painful... it really is.
Nobody understands unless they have been in my shoes. Even Hal doesn't understand- he feels it- but he's not there with me for all the appointments. He is feeling it for sure.... he wants 2 babies so bad, 2 healthy babies- honestly boys if he could have it his way... That's all we ask- just 2 healthy babies please. is that too much to ask? did we do something wrong in our life to get in this position? As if we have thousands of dollars on hand to afford these constant treatments.
Well here's to a successful IVF coming up! I obviously will keep you posted as it begins! I believe 1st week in May we start. Exciting, Scary, all in one!
I pray nobody deals with this kind of pain EVER.
Moving onto Round 5!
Yet again the doc was NOT happy with Femara/Letrozole.... and well I think round 5, perhaps this is round 6. Who knows I lost count. Have I discussed Clomid yet?!
Okay let me sum it up!
So Dr Roth was NOT happy with the last round of 7.5 mg of Letrozole/Femara. It was my first IUI experience- which mind you I paid CASH for. You can't always get the procedure covered- you need a certain amount of good ovulation rounds and well lets face it- I RARELY get a good round.... my progesterone level came back at 4.5- honestly? What is the deal ? Why oh why is this happening to me!!! He officially took me off Letrozole/Femara and moved me to Clomid- the high dose too! 150mg right away!!! It was bigger pills, and more!
We started the monitoring... the follicles... which are what are forced to grow- because without a mature follicle, the egg will be too small and if it releases- which it should-but with PCOS it doesn't always (enter in HCG shot). OF COURSE growth DID NOT happen. Why would it?!?!
So I went in on CD 14 it was Monday- I had just started Les Mills Pump the workout program! I was STOKED! I had graduated P90X that Friday before and now I was onto the next program. I had leaned out and felt great in this process. Honestly sweat is all I can do to keep me sane!!! It helps a TON!
I got my results that nothing was happening- the follicles were not growing... I sat in his office listening to his voice not happy about what he was seeing in the ultrasound shots and I was thinking ... dear lord why... so he looked up and said yeah... your body is not responding. Okay doc so injections with IUI are next right? (thinking in my mind this is what I'm going to hear....) Dr. Roth looks up and says next up will be injections with IVF. 'Excuse me?! what?!' I nearly fell out of my chair- did I just hear him, did he just say IVF?!?! He meant IUI right?! It's Monday- we're tired. I get it. 'You meant IUI right?'
'No InVITRO Fertilization!' 'Are you okay w/ injection medicine?'' ummmm do I have a choice?
Seriously?!?!?! Am I SERIOUSLY at IN VITRO FERTILIZATION!?!?!??!
Is this REALLY HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!??!?!
So I said 'perhaps my exercise is the reason this is failing...' 'Well what exactly do you do when you exercise?' he asked... 'Um I just graduated P90X.' WHAT!!!! He said no more exercise!!! I thought you were going to the gym and just doing some stuff... 'um EXCUSE me I'm a fitness coach...what do you think I am doing?!?!' HELLO!!! He totally knows what I do!!! So I am on exercise hault- I get 3X a week 30 min cardio... dear lord in heaven please oh PLEASE!!! I want my Turbo back!!! At least!!! I wanted to do PUMP so bad!!! I just wanna sweat!!!!! I miss weight lifting, I miss it all- hard as it is!!! I MISS IT!!!!
Okay I believe God has a plan and everything happens for a reason. I believe God answers EVERY prayer you ask of him... he wants the best for us all. Whatever your heart desires, he fufills.... SOOOOOO God what is GOING ON!?!?!??!
Yep... here we are IVF. Coming up on deck next! The doc scrapped the rest of this cycle and is waiting for me to get a period to start fresh and do IVF. Plus limited exercise :(
Perhaps God wants me to have more than 1 baby at once? Twins? Triplets? eeek that is something else!
I do not know what the plan for me is. I really dont. I wish I could read some book or see a video that shows me this part of my future. This is super painful... it really is.
Nobody understands unless they have been in my shoes. Even Hal doesn't understand- he feels it- but he's not there with me for all the appointments. He is feeling it for sure.... he wants 2 babies so bad, 2 healthy babies- honestly boys if he could have it his way... That's all we ask- just 2 healthy babies please. is that too much to ask? did we do something wrong in our life to get in this position? As if we have thousands of dollars on hand to afford these constant treatments.
Well here's to a successful IVF coming up! I obviously will keep you posted as it begins! I believe 1st week in May we start. Exciting, Scary, all in one!
I pray nobody deals with this kind of pain EVER.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)