20 weeks!

YAY! It's 20 weeks!

Sleeping has become quite a task. I'm laying over a ton of pillows, tossing and turning, and learning to sleep on my side. My little guard sleeps right next to me all the time, he has to hear the twins heartbeats! Making it difficult to turn, and lay on my body pillow!

Other than that things are good. I'm feeling good, high energy for now. I REALLY want to unpack and get things set up in the new house... BUT I know better than to get super busy!

Our move was good, we are loving the new house! We're looking forward to prepping the house for the twins arrival. First thing we did was set up an organized cube/wood bin. It has 8 large cubes with containers to hold toys and other items that will help keep our family room organized!

I'm looking forward to painting the nursery with Hal and setting up the furniture soon!

I did experience some pain that I found out were contractions. Light ones, the doctor did not seem to be too concerned but to take precaution he did give me a prescription to help stop them and prevent pre-labor!  And of course LOTS of rest and fluids as well!

So I'll be going to the doctor twice this week to be double checked that everything is going well.

The twins are sitting bunk bed style right now in me, or laying parallel if that visually makes sense. One is on top, and the other on the bottom rather than one of each side facing up.  They really get around!! I can feel lots of movement from them. Should get interesting as they continue to grow :)

No news on names yet! Still reading names and figuring out what we want to call them!

I should have updated ultrasound pictures this coming week! Will post then!

For now here I am in the midst of 20 wks standing outside my new house! The twins are measuring about 22 wks, ahead in size which is completely normal for multiples :)  Big boys!

17 WEEKS What am I having?!

I had a lot of fun this week!  First though, I did experience some crazy groin pain.
I figured it was a stretching thing but called the doc anyway.

They decided to bring my in for an emergency ultrasound, about 2 days before my scheduled appt.

So freaking out- I went and Hal met me there. I was freaking out/excited/nervous etc because I could maybe see if they were boys or girls, but was also facing whatever this pain might be.

I had no signs or concerns so I felt it was stretching, but hey when the doc calls you in- YOU GO!

We got into ultrasound and the twins were flipping all over the place, breech to head down to breech to head down. Then mooning us, kicking, wiggling their arms, and kept turning to the right so we could not see.

Now twin ultrasounds take about an hour, all the measurements, plus the heart rates, and of course the gender :)

Everytime the tech tried to catch the gender, they'd flip around, or moon her with legs shut!

It was annoying and funny all at once.

She said 'i hope you are ready for this energy!'

Finally after a good hour of back and forth- they showed their stuff and both are BOYS!

I went in for my regularly scheduled appointment on Thursday and we did confirm both being boys!

Pretty exciting!!!  Little athletes on the way!

Now to work on names! Although I feel I wont really know until I see their face.

It was an awesome week.

I'm growing, and right on point- they're about a week or 2 ahead in size and 8 oz in weight each! According to my little email I get every week they should be about 4-5 oz, so I'd say a little large is good for twins! They are doing really well.

I'll probably say this a million times, but I am looking forward to their arrival :)

Bailey- I think is too :)

Here is how we told everyone after I teased my FB asking everyone to predict first :) I wanted to play the game! It was fun!  As you can see Baby B is showing off very well, his little hand is up by his chin... Baby A.. well he's mooning us :)

16 weeks

I just got back from Arizona and had a decent traveling experience other than being padded down by security.

Must be something about pregnant ladies? It happened in Chicago & AZ! GRRRRRR

That being said I did get a pre-board for both flights, and was able to have a lot of space... able to stand up as much as needed and keep from getting sick!

I did for a while there think I'd burn those poor babies with as HOT as AZ gets! Seriously Hal thought I was crazy. Probably a pregnant thing!

Now I am officially home in Chicago until the twins are born!

I got a doppler which is fun to find their heartbeats and listen.

Baby A on the right seems to pop up right away, and then finding Baby B... well he/she is HIDING!!!

I'm pretty big at this point, definitely into maternity clothes, and had a great check up at the doc last week.

I'm looking forward to next weeks ultrasound- those are the best!

Sickness is much less, but not completely gone and energy has come back which is nice.

Although I'm still very cautious with twins, trying to avoid bedrest if I can. So limiting activity and resting as much as I can now!

Twins are full term at 36wks so... almost halfway there!

We are starting to look at names and picking out registry items :)

I'm praying for 2 healthy babies with safe delivery arrival to come soon!

I did read they're about 4 inch in size now and 2.5 oz in weight!  I gained 4lbs this month, which is right on track for the pregnancy!

Now that I can cook again and deal more in the kitchen I'm ready for healthier foods. Whew that 1st trimester was ROUGH!

14 weeks!

Happy 14weeks!

Well to me and the twins anyway :)

I'm officially in 2nd trimester! WOOT WOOT!

I'm feeling a bit better. Still got medicine in case I get sick. Still taking naps.

The bump has set in too! It's not too big, but it's enough for me to not fit in other clothes anymore.

Currently I'm working with 4 dresses. Perhaps I need to shop?

I got a little doppler to hear their heartbeats when I want. Little did I know they are SOOOO deep and hard to get to!  I've heard one here and there. I think they move around too much. I think I can hear it maybe 10 seconds and then off they go.

I'm starting to have a little tailbone pain when I sit too long... perhaps where the are at right now is affecting my tailbone? I'm not sure yet.

But I'll be into the doc on Monday for a check up to see whats going on with them.

No ultrasound- that's coming up in a couple weeks! We get to see what they are :)

Yep, that's right- we plan to find out!

I managed to start registration. I got the cribs, and dressers picked out. The Carseats and Stroller (S)

YAH I need 2!  The 1st couple months I'll need a frame piece to help me with carrying 2 car seats so the Double Snap N Go has to go on the list! However I am trying to do some consignment shopping for it, so I can get it used.  I seriously will be done with it within 2-4 months!

After Strollers, CarSeats, and Cribs I needed a nap.  I'll go back to work on more later. Niki is going to help me figure a lot out. THANK GOD! Buy Buy Baby is one overwhelming place!

We're heading out to Arizona next week for a week! Should be nice. I'm looking forward to the change of pace. The 1st trimester was very groundhog day style for me.  Wake up, sick, tired, fight the sick, not wanna eat, but eat, eating crap because healthy food makes me gag, so did the crap though!!! Then going back to sleep. AHHHH the joys of the 1st trimester!  Seriously though, I started to feel guilty because I want to have the littles here so bad and this is part of the process!

Now I'm embracing 2nd trimester, starting to enjoy everything, getting excited for the upcoming months!  I love Fall, and the holidays are always great!!!

We're expected to be moved into our new home by November!  Thank God because I imagine with twins I might start nesting early on!!  Lord knows they're going to arrive early on!

Here's a picture of me- 14 wks right before I got my hair done! AHHH to be human again! Fresh Color, Fresh Cut! I feel MUCH better!!!

More updates to come on the Weise Twins growth soon!

11.5 Weeks

I dont want to say the first trimester has been a blur.... but... i can't lie. It kinda has.

I get sick fairly often. If it's not hugging the toilet then it's sitting in my chest and I'm fighting it to stay down.  Sorry for the details but that is how I feel like 24/7.

When I could not keep water down anymore I got my hands on zolfran the med that is amazing!!!
It like instantly cures your sickness!

When you're sick- you dont take down water or food and well we need to hydrate especially in this summer heat.

Chicago has been god awful this year for weather. According to the news it has been the worst summer in 5 years. I've never so badly ever wanted fall here so fast!  I CANNOT WAIT!

Chili, Pumpkins goods, Cornbread, Soup!  YUM YUM!

I'd say my main craving at this time is Broccoli Cheddar Soup. I hit up Panera A LOT!
Sometimes I add in a salad with it. But Soup has been amazing for me! Yes that's right HOT soup in July!!!

So we've seen the babies a couple times now.  This past week was great- they were sitting breech and putting on a show for us! Baby B was a lot more active than Baby A- so naturally Baby B takes after me right?!?! hehe!

Their heartrates are at 156 & 160 and they're size was 11w2d and 11w3d. Which was a couple days ahead- no complaints there! Bigger is better :)

I've been told I'll delivery early- I'll be interested to see if that happens. I was also told my delivering/labor options.  My gut says I'll end up with a C but perhaps natural will happen. Depends on how they are faced!

It's cool- everything has been great news!  We finally told everyone and with social media being the way to get news- sooner than your own channel 5- Facebook Official and the word is out!

I'm grateful to have a stay at home job- although I've struggled the past couple weeks because of my exhaustion and sickness. It's nice to have that luxury so I can work when I need to and when I dont need to.

I'm not sure what my plan is once they arrive. It'll be a busy time is all I know. I dont want to pressure myself to get work done, but I also have goals I'd like to meet!  I'm sure I'll find a balance with time. Thank God I can work from my cell phone :)

Our house looks to be selling now- looks like we have a couple more weeks until we have to move. Our next house isn't ready yet- so we are looking at moving downtown with MK for a little while until our house is ready.  I believe in November.  I'd just like to be settled before they arrive!! It could be super early or later on...  of course I've heard a million stories- 28wks, 30 wks, 34 wks, 36 wks, 38 wks.... that basically puts me on Dec 2012- Jan or Feb 2013!

I'm just taking it one day at a time and praying for the best- 2 healthy-safely delivered babies on the right date!

I'll leave you with some pictures from the last ultrasound!

Updates

As infertility rolls- you have to take a couple blood tests for a couple days to make sure all numbers are doubling.

I came back for round 2 numbers-  They were 1558 HCG and round 3 which was a week later was 4139!

Was this multiples?! If you research HCG numbers- you'll see that these high numbers generally means multiples BUT some people have had SUPER high numbers and just had one healthy baby.

I had to wait till I hit 6.5 weeks for the Ultrasound to find out!

In the meantime we shared the news with MK- my sister in law and my brothers.

All my infertility friends were in the loop since we are such a solid support system :)

We've slowly been releasing news- SLOWLY to a couple people involved in this whole process.

You need to wait till about 12-13 weeks to be safe.

I feel very confident with this.  Every single piece of news and updates from the doctor have been nothing but positive and high excitement. He's been so thrilled with everything, that I feel this is it.

This baby is going to stay put and I will meet him or her in February :)

Now to get back to what life was like when you have this kind of exciting news. You go for months upon months of bad, sad, crazy hormone news. Weight is up and down too which makes for a super frustrating situation constantly. You can't really keep up on your fitness and your infertility- so I had to give up exercise for a while... well- a good chunk of time now :)

So adjusting back to normal life, crawling out of your 'hole', and relaxing while the little one grows :)

Sharing the News!

We had about 3 hours to plan out how to share the news. We have a set of parents local and a set in Arizona.  So, planning had to go quick!  For AZ, we had them thinking something happened to Hal's arm, and they HAD to skype us to see this 'growth'! They agreed but later on, they were out and about that night.

My parents- good lord- trying to get them out to eat was not easy!! I was like we need to go to dinner- we have a Father's Day gift EARLY!!! You need it!   You see- they were traveling for the wedding to a wedding and would be gone, so we wanted to get news out fast.

After a couple rounds of text messages and calls, we set up 7PM at a local college bar/restaurant called PINTS!

I wrote in the 2 cards- BABY(IES) WEISE DUE FEB 22!  A Special Valentines Gift is coming :)

Pretty sweet!

So we go to the restaurant and thinking it was a Father's Day card, the post it note I put on the front said- ACTUALLY, this is an early Valentines Day gift for BOTH of you!  Under the post it note was 'It's a MIRACLE!' with the baby feet and inside the due date!

I thought it was cool. My mom was like 'are you for real?'

I enjoyed a good bison burger w/ sweet potato fries- seriously my biggest craving!!!

After dinner we headed home to skype!

Time was ticking- it was getting to be like 11PM and we were like where are they!??!

Hal's mom was like- 'just text me a picture of your arm, I'll look at that'

NO!  YOU MUST SKYPE!!!!

Finally we got them on Skype- of all times to skype right?!?! HA!!

We wrote BABY WEISE FEB 22- backwards on a POST IT because then they could read it on the skype the correct way.  We were going to write it on Hal's arm but he was worried the marker would not come out.

So we chatted for a minute and then proceeded to show them the 'growth' on Hal's arm!

Lots of flowing tears and excitement! Success at sharing our news! Both Grandparents were very excited!

Updates

As I had said in my last post I was scheduled to be in Las Vegas for business and had to cancel the trip.

The bittersweet part to that is the reason I had to- was because- FINALLY! Baby is on the way!

I had taken a pregnancy test Monday the week of my bloodwork results. I was due for blood-HCG-preg test on Thursday, but knowing that I was not to go to Vegas if it did come back positive I decided to take a home test. It came up positive...and I was like hmmm could this be the HCG shot I had?

You see HCG is what those home tests are looking for. It's also the shot you take to help ovulation take place.  So if you take a pregnancy test too early- you can end up with a false positive.

I was super skeptical obviously. But I had one more test from my 3 pack, so I decided to wait until Wednesday to take it.  Wednesday morning I got up and sure enough it read 'PREGNANT'

Now I was 15 days out from my HCG shot, so I was really starting to get confident. I was due in Vegas in 1 week. I didn't even bother to continue to plan. I figured this was going to be it but it was worth asking if I could travel.

Usually you can in the first couple weeks but not if you're going through treatments.

Thursday came, I went into the doctor's office and gave my blood about 9:00AM

I had a good 6 hours until I would hear back.

Talk about driving a girl crazy!  Now I work from home so I have the freedom to do what I want, when I want. I tried to get some work done that day. It wasn't going well.  My mind kept racing.

I left to the store, all crazy, trying to figure out how we would tell our parents if this was positive news.

It was Father's Day weekend coming up and as much as we wanted to save our news for that day, it didn't go over well. I had calls coming in with questions about how the appt went.

I continued to avoid them throughout the day, but I knew I could not all weekend.

I decided going out and about would help me. I started at the puppy store. I hate puppy stores because they are like puppy mills, but I needed a major distraction. I found the cutest little puggle, 3 lbs I swear! I was tempted to get him/her. I was sending pictures to Hal through my phone and he was like WHAT ARE YOU DOING!??!!!??!  Finally I left with nothing in my hand!

I strolled through Hobby Lobby looking for something to stand out to give them with the news. But nothing stood out. A bunch of pink and blue items were there and I thought well can't do this because it's way too early if it is at all.

I think i did like 20 circles in the store. I finally came across 2 cards left that said 'It's a MIRACLE!' with some baby feet and inside it said congrats on being grandparents!  I thought okay this is easy and simple I can work with this.  I grabbed the 2 cards and left.

I think I might have stopped for ice cream on the way home.

3:30-4PM FINALLY came, and sure enough the nurse called and said- You're home tests were correct- your HCG is 318 & Progesterone is 37.4! CONGRATS!   Take some extra folic acid just in case.

In case what?  In case there are more than 1. We don't know yet, could be one healthy baby... or more.

HA!!!  So finally the good news, finally!!! Now for the big wait!  The best news was that you are considered 4 wks at that point so I was like oh thank god 8 more weeks till we're in the 'safe zone'

Now to tell our parents.

Support

A lot of ladies have NO CLUE they have PCOS. I mean A LOT!

If you come even remotely CLOSE to the symptoms of PCOS you need to get support if you're struggling!

I find a lot of support in the Facebook world- and I wanted to encourage you to reach out and find a great support group.

There is nothing like having that support of others who understand exactly what you're going through.

This disease has no cure right now... all we can do is maintain it.  It's awful. No one deserves it- but it's here and we have to deal with it.

Especially if you're the type who worked so hard on your career, followed the rules- got married- then comes babies- and all the sudden 2 years pass and every home pregnancy test comes back negative and your period is all over the place. Hair growing all over you in bad areas- chin, upper lip, back- just SO random and awkward. The ZITS! omg! WHo wants to be an adult with ZITS?! YAY for high testosterone!

This can make you HATE yourself! And you shouldn't!  This is just a disease you have to fight.

I fought to lose a ton of weight and that helped tremendously! I know weight gain is all part of this as well, it's something you can't help.  I would say adding a solid nutrition plan to your life and exercise would help counteract this a TON! But I get it- not everyone gets past this.

Mentally- oh my- mentally you are all screwed up! Especially when you're starting to try to conceive. The world gets SO DARK and you crawl into this hole because nobody understands. Not even your hubs gets it!

I want to encourage you to reach out to a support group- whether it's live, in person, on facebook, twitter etc.    It'll help you SO MUCH!  Others who understand what you're going through- there's nothing like it! Plus! You make new friends!!!

That's all for now- hopefully I have my treatments updates here for you soon

Ladies Take Note

Doctors say if you're coming up on 30 or older and you aren't close to the whole marriage/family process. Perhaps you're big into your career. They suggested that you get eggs frozen in case you are one of the females who will suffer infertility.

Eggs diminish the older you get- late in your 30's and early 40's!

This isn't the case with everyone, but it's something to think real hard about.

I always wanted at least one baby by 30.   Had I not gotten married earlier, I'm not sure what would be going through my head.  Because generally you get married- then have a baby about a year or 2 later.

If you get married late in life- what do you do?

Just making the ladies out there whom are waiting, whom have no idea if they suffer infertility or not- making them aware of their options to have a family when that time comes.

It'd help you avoid a lot of pain and hurt to know you froze eggs that will be good to use :)

40% chance of success doing that as you get older.

Check in with your doctor.

I have a great doctor that of course I would refer in a second if you live near me. I highly recommend. I even have a 2nd doctor that I use as well because of Insurance I have to balance the 2 docs. Both are great docs.

I hear some stories and it scares me to think what some of these doctors are doing. It's so different from what I do.  just scary for the lady.

The female reproductive system is crazy- you only get 20% chance to have a baby each month while trying. It can take you years, or it could be easy as pie.  You never know. But if you have a deep burning desire to have babies one day and are no where near working on that option than def freeze up your eggs.

And if you have PCOS, Endo etc DEF FREEZE EGGS!!!! It'll help you tremendously!!!

Putting Priorities First

This week I'm suppose to be heading to Las Vegas. Tomorrow morning in fact, and sadly I've been grounded from travel until further notice.

I think I've mentioned that when you're going through treatments that include injection medicine you have to be SO CAREFUL with your body. You can't travel, exercise, bend, lift, etc

So as a team leader in my business I definitely feel terrible to stay behind and leave my team in Vegas without me. There are other leaders above me who will be great support to them, but it wont be the same. I had plans to take them to a team dinner, and lots of pictures.  Not happening this year.

The good news is, our annual event is EVERY SINGLE YEAR!!! So 365 days from now I'll be back and with my team!

I do have a rank advancing/promotion coming up so I will be heading to Laguna Beach on Beachbody's dime again :)   Our leadership conference is being held in Dana Point so I'm looking forward to that. It's in September!

I should be off travel restriction soon I hope. They monitor your ovaries, making sure they enlarge like they are suppose to & then go back down.

When they are enlarged you can twist or rupture them and that is what you don't want. That is why you treat yourself with tender care while on injections- if you get this far.

Injections also come with an added 10-20lbs- no joke.  So on the plus side this added weight that I can't exercise off just yet will not be seen in the photos this week in Vegas :)

All in all as bummed as I am to miss the 1X a year event, I realize my priority which is not work. Beachbody is my job. I chose to become a fitness coach and help others get healthy. I have a great success story having lost 70lbs, 15% bodyfat, and over 10 jeans sizes. I want nothing more than to help others do the same. I want to be with my team, and spoil them for all their hard work.  But for now that has to wait.

My priority is family. Bottom line. I have to fight much harder to have babies than the majority of the world does. Therefor I have to sacrifice a lot, which includes another very high priority which is Beachbody & my business. And each cycle you dont know if you'll get a positive results or a negative one. So yeah, it makes you want to just travel. Get your mind off things, look at what else you love most and for me that is my business. And OF COURSE.. I love to travel. Who doesn't?  I'd LOVE to be in Vegas again with everyone.  There are many team members of mine I have not met yet, whom I'd love to be there and finally meet. The good news is- there is next year!  There is leadership in Laguna later this year and there is DisneyWorld coming up in March!  Lots of added travel coming up :)

Hopefully all goes well and my priorities start to line up, and a family is headed my way.

If you are on these kinds of meds, be so very careful with your body. It's super gentle right now.

Mental Exhaustion

Okay so this is mentally exhausting... have I told you guys this yet?!

I mean straight up MENTAL EXHAUSTION!

One minute I'm in dream world thinking of this family I will have...the next I am reminded of this disease and how I may never have a family.

The truth is all I can do is continue to fight everyday to get there.

Lots of mental exhaustion, tears... and there are happy moments while going through this journey.

I read the article about the young girl who drove off with her baby on top of her car because she 'forgot' and I truly just shake my head at how this world operates.

Its such a shame that so many people want to have a family and would be amazing parents, and yet idiots are super fertile.  Truly blows my mind.

I try to think that God does have a plan and that plan is slowly coming together.

I have no control that is for sure. I just follow the doctors orders... and most of you know a lot of those orders are currently against all the things I love to do.... fitness, travel, my body that was getting in shape, living on my own schedule....

With infertility you live on the schedule of your body & your doctor's office.

You have to go in probably 2-4X a week for monitoring, then wait for the phone call in the afternoon to update you on how much medicine you need...yep this means you even go in on Sundays, Holidays...etc

The medicine blows you up, like puffy, bloat, serious-fast weight gain. Not a thing you can do about it. It just happens..part of this process. I know I've said this before- but seriously this is like something I work SUPER HARD at as it is. Fighting to keep weight off...

No Exercise except walking/limited swimming... do you know how hard I worked to build muscle?! The cardio endurance I have?!?! I will likely have to re-do it all, re-build, re-lose the weight.

This is A LOT of mental exhaustion... to know your body is going backwards from where you worked so hard to get it... your schedule is all out of whack, you never ever know if you can do anything because of doc appointments, monitoring, meds etc etc  The timing is crucial, so everything goes on hold.

I travel a lot for my job... happily travel to events. I'm lucky I got to the Bahamas. I'm suppose to be in in Las Vegas on the 20th... currently I cannot go. I'm waiting to see if I might be able to go... but again... any NORMAL person who can easily have a family- this wouldn't be an issue whatsoever....they'd just get on the plane and go. But when you're dealing with infertility and this kind of medicine it's not safe to travel.

Last night I large pain struck my left side that keeps twingeing and pinching...and of course it's messing with my head like...what the!??! I am at risk for ovarian twisting &/or ruptures so I am EXTREMELY cautious about everything. But something struck bad last night, it was painful... but I tolerated enough that I knew it can't be anything too harmful. I believe a lot of this pain comes naturally with this medicine and the procedures. I understand that if I were to rupture/twist an ovary I'd be in so much pain, I'd be vomiting. But still.... alllllllll these risks!!! All this & if I make a wrong move, or fall etc  Out could go an ovary :(    Ridiculous isn't it?

And to top it all off, nothing is guaranteed.... no baby is guaranteed out of this. Talk about mental exhaustion.

God only knows if a baby will come, or 2 or 3... and God only knows when.  All I can do is try hard to keep my patience, trust, hope going strong.

Did I mention the pain you go through with these meds? Not fun... there is a lot of discomfort, therefore, wearing jeans is OUT right now. I try to stay as comfy as I can. My stomach is all puffy as it is, so dresses that flow are pretty much what I want to wear or hide in PJ's at home.

Most of my friends and family have children now... it's a very isolating situation to be in. It's hard to attend events, and I realize I can suck it up and deal... but it's hard. I'd rather just not be there, than be there in the corner crying...or fighting so hard to hold back my tears.  I've sucked it up at a couple events...and finally decided for me mentally it's best I just stay away.
To those friends who read this, hopefully you understand and I apologize if this seems selfish.  I know everyone has a lot of hope and faith for me that this WILL happen. It's easy to be an outsider and feel that strong. Lord knows I feel that way about my business and my team's growth- I tell them everyday they will grow and their business will flourish- IT WILL HAPPEN- as long as they take action on the job.

That's all I can do, is take action, continue to take meds, continue to trust, hope and have faith that I can bring a couple healthy babies into this world.  But god really only knows if that will ever happen and it is truly mentally exhausting.

I pray no one has to go through this journey.

Injection Warnings

If Injections are meant for you.... here's my warnings:

1. Be prepared to get fat fast!!!  Holy big stomach!!! I can't even believe how puffy I am. These meds can cause weight gain in a short week! There is nothing you can do about it, but deal.
Try being in the fitness business- not allowed to exercise, and puffing out like crazy!
The thing we do for a family!

2. No Exercise! I dont know about you guys but exercise is what helps me mentally and physically. This is a KILLER for me. I'm just walking and eventually going to swim.

3. No bending- No leg crossing- no jumping- no bouncing

basically if you have ANY doubt... DONT DO IT!

My little puggle loves to play and he's quite the jumper and I really cannot play with him right now. The poor guy doesn't understand what is going on. He's used to being able to rough-house with me and now he can't. I'm completely paranoid when sleeping because I dont want him to come jump on me and damage my ovaries.

I think the worst is just remembering everything and when the twinges start you freak out- did I hurt something?! It's crazy. Seriously.

What's happening is everything is enlarged as part of the process- does this happen with normal reproductive people?!?!?! hmmmm it does make sense for the 'bloated' time of the month on the ladies...

anyway

I can't travel right now.  All these crazy restrictions- you might as well just sleep. It's kinda depressing.

Oh and the hormones that have been added.... you're constantly starving...and craving of course all the wrong stuff. I'd say you're moody, headaches, tired... a lot of weird feelings going on.

hopefully sooner than later this will pay off and be all worth it!

I look forward to having a family and having my fitness life back :)

Injection hormones out of whack!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want to just warn those of you who have to take injections... holy mother do they make you eat and your mind spin.

I'm never FULL EVER which is INSANE! I am trying to mentally wrap my mind around eating my 5 small meals that I'm used to everyday. I took myself to the store to buy extremely healthy whole foods and am working to get rid of all the crap that was in my house this weekend!!! I usually dont keep much junk but this weekend was different as we had visitors in town, and I usually get laid back with company and eat whatever is around.

But the injections had my head spinning. You get super tired, forgetful, you cry at nothing, and EAT! GRRRRRRRR just what I want right?!?!

I am STOKED for when I can get back to fitness and shrink down. I'm super puffy/ swollen etc right now. I feel like a pregnant girl. Hopefully this will be a dream come true soon!

Injections are a whole new world of medicine but they get the job done!

I woke up super depressed, having had a nightmare that Hal hated me. Just what I need while going through this journey right?! I did get up nice and early but wanted to stay in bed and hide from everything. I could feel the depression cloud smothering me, but I am slightly aware that I am pumped with a TON of medicine right now and that it's going to pay off soon :) It's hard on this end FOR SURE.

I mean... here you are... no baby... no guarantee of a baby...and you are going through A LOT to 'try' for that baby... but nothing is guaranteed. And if you get that baby...then you have to see about getting through the SAFE ZONE! Which means no miscarriage. This is nothing but SUPER STRESSFUL. Your faith has to be SO STRONG that the plan is laid out and that a family IS part of it, regardless of how you wanted that plan to go. Because I sure wanted 1 baby at the least on the way by the time I turned 30 and here I am 6 months away from 31 with no baby in sight.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm just meant for multiples? Perhaps. One and done? Sure! Boy & Girl? bring it on! Triplets is not success in the world of the infertility docs. So twins will do. But one is good as well.

I was an only child half of my life and HATED it. I wanted badly to not be the only one and eventually I collected some siblings along the way. I do have older siblings as well, I just did not grow up with them. So I want my children to have siblings...2 total at the least 3 at max. Unless God has another plan and I wind up with 4-5 !!! I bet Hal would be just STOKED haha!!!  But in all honestly- this is not how I expected life to play out. I've gotten pregnant before on my own just fine, so this has throw the biggest curveball ever at me.

I know they say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.. but ummm I've fought a lot of obstacles in life and I'm ready to just rest and enjoy for a while...so this battle has thrown me so far off it's not even funny. In fact it's straight up sad. I do try my best to stay focused and stay positive. But these injections..whew!!!! Talk about a hormone hot mess I am right now. I'm probably best inside my house away from anyone else.

Now that I have healthy eats in the house I should be back under control here shortly with nutrition.

Mentally I like to exercise to keep sane... well all I can do right now is swim or walk. I'm waiting on whether we are moving or not here shortly to determine which pool I want to be connected to.

We found a house we love, it's very small though so there is a lot of concern there. I can't imagine having a family in this house, but we do love it. We shall see if it's what is meant to be.

If that is the case though- I will wait to get my pool pass from the Lombard pool rather than the Orland park pool.  Then I'll start swimming. I wonder if I can get my iPOD under water and still listen to it!??!?! Music helps me a TON!

What do you think tri-level home w/ finished basement-decent sized bedrooms and SMALL kitchen? OR one level home with big kitchen, big living room, decent bedrooms, and no basement? Both have 3 bedrooms... both have big back yards...

I'm trying to visualize a playroom, my office... etc  in the smaller house.... thoughts?! suggestions?! opinions?!

Big house is in the town we want to live in but on the wrong side of town, and little house is in a different town- close but not our town of choice. Of course little house is cheaper & very open... huge kitchen...  hmm decisions decisions

I also have a FULL workout room- weights, treadmill, elliptical, bars, bands etc etc Could I stash all of that plus playroom toys in a big living room with no other place to put it?!?!

Anyway- that's about it for now. Just dealing with crazy hormones, mentally, physically, and hopefully i'll get them under control soon.

Wish me luck that I'll have good news eventually.

The Chaos of the day

Today was scheduled for my HCG shot. I had to take it between 7-9AM.
Hal was suppose to give it to me. I had the directions, I had watched the video on how to give this shot. I had the medicine, the needles etc etc

Well Hal got called into work at 7AM so he was out to help me. His mom whom was visiting with us and a nurse was willing to help but she had left yesterday for vacation.

We asked our family friend to help- she's a nurse so we thought it'd be perfect!

I got up and left the house at 6:45AM so get to her house around 7:30 for my shot before she left for work.  I got to her house, rang the bell, came inside with my medicine, only to find out that the bottle of medicine had been broken. Here I was with 1.5 hours of time to take this shot and a broken bottle of medicine. NOW WHAT?

She told me to get to my doctor ASAP.

I called in the emergency line to get help for a new prescription. They sent me down another 30 minutes or so to pick up this prescription. I finally got my hands on new meds by 8:30AM and was out $200.00! When my original was covered 100% by insurance.

The doc asked that I come into the office for the shot now that I was strapped for time to get it done.

Did you ever realize how crazy infertility really is? it's all time sensitive- your body- your meds- your procedures- everything works around a specific time and NO you can't pick the time. Your body picks it.

You get calls DAILY in the afternoon after you have bloodwork done which is every other day- and they give you updates on how much medicine to take and at what time to take it.... talk about a '2nd job!'

So finally by 9am I got to the hospital where they helped give me the shot. I was told this was a FIRST! Never have any patients ever had a broken bottle of medicine!!!   I said hopefully this is the only fluke for this cycle!

I finally got home around 11am. So tired after nearly putting in 100 miles first thing this morning.  I did get frustrated and nearly cried to the answering service who couldn't figure out if this was an emergency or not. (IDIOTS)

I know I am pumped with a TON of hormones right now... so my moods are crazy. I'm super hungry. I'm puffier than ever. Everything is bloated out. it's great.

I can only hope that it pays off and soon!

Do you KNOW HOW HARD it is to be a FITNESS coach and be GROWING w/out a BABY inside?!?!?  IT BLOWS!!!! It SUCKS!!!

Learn from me- check all your meds when you are getting them shipped to your house from the special pharmacies. You just NEVER EVER KNOW!!!!

I pray all of this stress soon pays off and I get a healthy baby or 2.

Doctor Checks

I decided over the weekend I wanted to look into the credentials of the doctors I'm using :)

I never thought about where they've studied or their success stories so I figured I'd definitely look into this.

Here's what I found out:

1. Dr Roth- Loyola University & Rush University out of Chicago- BIG schools- GREAT educations!
2. Dr Levin- Pittsburgh, Northwestern, & UCLA!   More BIG schools & educations!

They both rated 4-4.5 out of 5!   Not to shabby!

Guess I have landed in the correct place for a reason.

I also found out today that my insurance covers what I'm going through 100%.  Talk about a blessing.

I am 1 round away from IVF, since switching doctors- Dr. Levin decided to try the injection/IUI round since it worked for him. He has twins. So does Dr. Roth. funny how I'm dealing with 2 docs who both have twins. hmmmmm

Anyway- please make sure you have GREAT health insurance. It's CRUCIAL for this kind of a situation.  I still can't get over the fact that it's 100% covered. Never have I experienced that!

So- I'm still doing shots until further notice.   Double dosed.

I find I'm super hot these days... I'm guessing the out of control hormones.

I work in the fitness business & naturally I should be fit & in shape but of course the injections cause you to bloat, be puffy, and gain weight. Sooo that is quite the fight. I have to remember this is temporary and a good thing to bring together a family. Then I can do all the fitness I want after :)

I do look forward to that day when I'm super fit & a mom of 2-3 !!! It'll be one awesome day!

I'm glad that I already have my own business in health & fitness that allows me to be able to stay home with my babies when they finally get here!

Want more info on working from home?  email me at lyndsiweise@comcast.net OR check out my website- www.lyndsiweisefitness.com   You can also find me on Facebook- www.facebook.com/lyndsi.weise

Keeping up with Injections

I missed a couple days on my updates for the injection meds so let me catch you up.


Basically with injections it goes MUCH longer than Clomid or Letrozole/Femara. You pretty much inject the meds until you get to the point to trigger ovulation. 


So today is day 7 of the injections. I went to the doc yesterday morning to check out my follicle growth... there are 3 growing on my ride side- one of which is leading big time in size. this is a benefit. Now of course if all 3 got fertilized then that means triplets who do not look alike. CRAZY to think about.  Unlikely though :)  


The doc checked my blood and called me with updates in the afternoon on dosage.


If you get these injections you will get an update every day in the afternoon of your blood level- which I'm not even going to try to explain. I don't want to confuse you.


So anyway- the doc called me to update and told me to double my dosage. I'm like good lord body can you just respond!!


I then went back to the doc today for more monitoring. You see when you're in this position you do what your body does. We run the process based on my body, not mind.


I am continuing on my double dosages for now. Back to the doc Tuesday.


The injections will make your stomach PUFF out- okay so I look FAT. haha. How else do I say it?  I'm VERY bloated and prego looking if you will. It sucks. You can feel the twinges of your ovaries growing. You can't cross your legs, you can't sit indian style, you can't bend, no lifting, no exercise except for walking or limited swimming (thank god it's summertime). 


We went to a wedding this weekend and I could not dance at the wedding, and if you know me. You know I LOVE to dance. So that was difficult to not get up and start bouncing around. 


I can't be cold/shivering. Not that one would want to be cold & shivering but it's bad for what I'm dealing with.  


I am super bummed on the fitness end because I have worked SOOOOO hard to get in shape and this is moving backwards for me.... now I have to keep reminding myself that THIS IS TEMPORARY! I will get the best gift in the world this way and I can workout all I want after :) It's a hard pill to swallow when you have worked so hard to lose weight and get in shape. 


I think overall its not so bad if you can deal with sticking yourself with needles daily. they are not too painful. Just annoying is all. 


Worst part of my weekend is that another freshly pregnant lady asked me if I was in the same boat as her... or assumed and it was like  'well no... trying..hard to explain...'


That was hard. Just because I don't have the happy news...and I still basically have to act as if I truly am pregnant- no drinking- no exercise etc etc   And naturally that sucks when we know there is NO baby YET!


BUT I truly believe there will be great news SOON!!!


xoxo

Day 2 injections

Day 2 of my injections....

Bailey decided to jump on me today- he is my Puggle about 2 years old and 25lbs of pure muscle. When he jumps & lands it ain't pretty!  The doctors want me to set up gates so he wont jump for the next couple weeks. I guess injections are going to make my ovaries nice and large...exciting right? ha!

So the bloating is slowly beginning. I seem to be overly hungry on these and my body temp is crazy. I'm cold then warm then cold. I feel like my stomach is sticking far out which sucks.

I'm trying to stay positive and focus on making sure I dont bend over, or bounce around the house, or over exert myself.  Seriously I can't even WORKOUT. All I do is walk. It's so not lyndsi. I'm soooo not myself with this. BUT I am trying to remain normal and stay positive as best I can.

Preparing for a long busy weekend coming up is kind of a struggle but I think it will be okay. I wish I could just be normal Lyndsi again. Not have to worry about plans and just going with the flow for the weekend but that's not how things roll for me right now. I have to plan out my meds, they have to refridgerated as well as taken on time. It's a lot of clean/prep work to add the new needle, clean it up, dial up then poke and clean up after that.

I do miss being normal and having a normal life. I pray no one has to deal with infertility. It's an absolute nightmare.

I also want to encourage those who ARE going through this to SPEAK UP with your doctors!!! They will listen if you SPEAK UP! Because I spoke up my doctors have been very aggressive moving forward for me.  If you dont speak up you're only going to move slow and waiting is truly the hardest part (thank you tom petty)

Today while injecting I noticed another needle in my kit and GOOD GOD is it HUGE. I am NOT looking forward to THAT!

I'll show you a picture here of this lovely needle.

I'm going to take a wild guess that its used for the HCG trigger shot later.

wish me luck as the process continues! I will keep you posted. Night Night!

Injections Begin

Hey Everyone!

Like I wrote in the last post.... I thought my cycle had started 2 weeks ago when in reality it did NOT! It started a week ago which my complaining in my previous post about switching doctors and losing out on 1 cycle really was God holding it off so I could get situated since I need to use injection medicine & IVF!

So that is very exciting. On a negative note though I may forfeit a couple amazing business trips because of timing BUT this is family we are talking about :)

The doctor ordered me my first set of injections- they come to you in the mail in a cooler. You have to keep them cold in the fridge!

Today was my first injection.  I went to get monitored and the doctor found 15 follicles on one ovary and 8 on the other. Do you know how many babies that is?!?! Dont you just love this disease?!??!

GOOD LORD!   The biggest risk is that multiples are an option. I'm okay with that at this point.

I learned how to use the 'pen'. We add the medicine to it, as well as a fresh new needle each time. I then stuck it into my FAT! ha!! and pushed the button and in went the medicine. There was a small burning feeling after which I assume means it worked. I forgot to clean that area after. OOPS.

Tomorrow is shot #2. I am getting comfortable already!

I go back to the hospital on Thursday to be monitored and see how the follicles are coming along.

The hope is that only 1-4 grow and not all of them. Otherwise they will cancel this cycle.

I have to say I do miss my primary doc. He's great and so laid back. These guys are a big more uptight, super friendly but not near as laid back as Dr. Roth and his staff. So I pray I get success soon so I can be released back to him!

The benefit is that I did not pay 1 cent for my medicine and so far am not paying much for my appointments either. Which is KEY to helping with infertility. It gets SUPER expensive.

The negative is that I ALWAYS have to go to the hospital. Parking there SUCKS. I get super frustrated with it. Then I get lost in the hospital as I'm still learning my way. This is the hospital I will one day give birth in, so I guess it's fair that I learn now. Might as well right!?  Here is to hoping this round works!

I will keep you posted as we move forward. Keep me in your prayers that these follicles calm themselves and I dont grow too many so we can continue!

xoxo good night

CYCLE CHANGE WHAT?!

TMI- fair warning!!! Stop reading now if you dont wanna know.

After the HSG I went home with some discomfort and was told I might see some discharge from the ink/dye and/or blood. But a light amount.

Well Sunday night a HUGE flow hit and I was like okay fair enough this is from the HSG. Fast Forward to today and I was like okay for real I still have a lot of this going on.

I called into the doc that I am now working with for the IVF/Injection procedure and they had me come in right away for an ultrasound to see what was going on. So I headed out to the doctor this afternoon and sure enough it looks as if my period is here.

Holy confusion batman!!! I swore it came on May 1st! Isn't this disease AWESOME!?!?! Apparently it's here now. They did run blood to be 100% sure that is correct. I will find out tomorrow for sure.

In the meantime they started me on my new meds- Clomid and then Gonadotrophins, also known as injections!  Oh yes. I got sent home with a DVD explaining how to give myself shots. Exciting isn't it?!
I can't wait to stick myself daily with some medicine.

But when all is said & done if a healthy baby or 2 comes out of this, then it'll be well worth it.

For now I'll leave you with this video that hopefully helps you get the idea of what goes through the mind of a person dealing with infertility. Not every single thing she writes does go through our mind but most of these do.