22 Weeks!

This is Baby A, he is the chill baby per my nurses. You can always find his heartbeat and he seems to always be in the same area. He's over 1lb now! I got for more measurements next week! I'll be curious to see how big he's gotten since then.

This is Baby B, he is staring directly at us! He's got one hand kinda up by his head, almost as if he is waving at you! He's basically turned looking at us, or kinda on his back looking towards us. Either way he's looking at us! Now this guy- he likes to move from top of my bump to bottom. Up and down, and his heartbeat is always the hardest to find.

Wonder if this reflects their little personalities already?!?!?

We've started to design out their nursery. I'm shopping decals and a couple cute phrases to hang up.
We're painting it this weekend so we can start to set up. The furniture should be here next week with a couple pieces on back order- not due till Feb!!! So hopefully they come a bit earlier.

So hard to pinpoint timing with twins. The docs want them to come at 37 wks, which is basically the SuperBowl week, or week leading up to SuperBowl. They're technically due Feb 22. I've also heard they come as early as 30-32 wks! That is December!!!  So if I had to have it MY WAY- I'd hope for a late January due date. That's about 35-36 wks and I think is great timing.

It's coming up quickly, and will probably move quicker as the holidays approach.

My baby shower is coming up in November. I have no idea all of what is going on with it, other than it'll be sports themed since there are 2 boys on the way!

Here's the invite- cute isn't it?  

I couldn't even tell you how big my stomach is now. I imagine I measure about 4 wks ahead in size. At least that's what I'm understanding. And as I type this, the twins are kicking me. It's like my stomach is a fish tank!

I've had some contractions, super light, but enough that I get monitored A LOT! This week I was in the doctors office twice and next week I go in twice! I'm on extra rest and medicine. The doctor wants to keep them cookin' for 16 more weeks! Whew! I will have to get a bump picture update soon! It's getting big.

Getting out of bed, or rolling over in bed to sleep on a side is quite the task now. I use a ton of pillows and am SO ready for a recliner!!!

I'm excited for their arrival! Hal and I have been discussing names and of course designing the nursery is a blast!

SIDENOTE: if you're a buy buy baby shopper take note you need one coupon PER item you buy in that store! Something I learned this week. You can use Bed Bath and Beyond coupons but they require 1 coupon per item. Good info to know up front esp when you're having twins!

That's all for now!

20 weeks!

YAY! It's 20 weeks!

Sleeping has become quite a task. I'm laying over a ton of pillows, tossing and turning, and learning to sleep on my side. My little guard sleeps right next to me all the time, he has to hear the twins heartbeats! Making it difficult to turn, and lay on my body pillow!

Other than that things are good. I'm feeling good, high energy for now. I REALLY want to unpack and get things set up in the new house... BUT I know better than to get super busy!

Our move was good, we are loving the new house! We're looking forward to prepping the house for the twins arrival. First thing we did was set up an organized cube/wood bin. It has 8 large cubes with containers to hold toys and other items that will help keep our family room organized!

I'm looking forward to painting the nursery with Hal and setting up the furniture soon!

I did experience some pain that I found out were contractions. Light ones, the doctor did not seem to be too concerned but to take precaution he did give me a prescription to help stop them and prevent pre-labor!  And of course LOTS of rest and fluids as well!

So I'll be going to the doctor twice this week to be double checked that everything is going well.

The twins are sitting bunk bed style right now in me, or laying parallel if that visually makes sense. One is on top, and the other on the bottom rather than one of each side facing up.  They really get around!! I can feel lots of movement from them. Should get interesting as they continue to grow :)

No news on names yet! Still reading names and figuring out what we want to call them!

I should have updated ultrasound pictures this coming week! Will post then!

For now here I am in the midst of 20 wks standing outside my new house! The twins are measuring about 22 wks, ahead in size which is completely normal for multiples :)  Big boys!

17 WEEKS What am I having?!

I had a lot of fun this week!  First though, I did experience some crazy groin pain.
I figured it was a stretching thing but called the doc anyway.

They decided to bring my in for an emergency ultrasound, about 2 days before my scheduled appt.

So freaking out- I went and Hal met me there. I was freaking out/excited/nervous etc because I could maybe see if they were boys or girls, but was also facing whatever this pain might be.

I had no signs or concerns so I felt it was stretching, but hey when the doc calls you in- YOU GO!

We got into ultrasound and the twins were flipping all over the place, breech to head down to breech to head down. Then mooning us, kicking, wiggling their arms, and kept turning to the right so we could not see.

Now twin ultrasounds take about an hour, all the measurements, plus the heart rates, and of course the gender :)

Everytime the tech tried to catch the gender, they'd flip around, or moon her with legs shut!

It was annoying and funny all at once.

She said 'i hope you are ready for this energy!'

Finally after a good hour of back and forth- they showed their stuff and both are BOYS!

I went in for my regularly scheduled appointment on Thursday and we did confirm both being boys!

Pretty exciting!!!  Little athletes on the way!

Now to work on names! Although I feel I wont really know until I see their face.

It was an awesome week.

I'm growing, and right on point- they're about a week or 2 ahead in size and 8 oz in weight each! According to my little email I get every week they should be about 4-5 oz, so I'd say a little large is good for twins! They are doing really well.

I'll probably say this a million times, but I am looking forward to their arrival :)

Bailey- I think is too :)

Here is how we told everyone after I teased my FB asking everyone to predict first :) I wanted to play the game! It was fun!  As you can see Baby B is showing off very well, his little hand is up by his chin... Baby A.. well he's mooning us :)

Twin Shopping

I went to a twin consignment sale on Friday night with Hal. We went in with no expectations since I am only in week 16 and have a ways to go as well as a shower ahead.

But we thought lets see what we can find and if anything would be beneficial we can keep off the registry or even better for the parents homes!

Sure enough we found the main thing we wanted which was the Double Snap N Go Stroller.

This piece is designed to last a good 3-4 months and then you move onto a regular stroller.

I need both so I figured I could get at least one at the consignment sale.

It actually was a great move on our part, although super crazy, long lines, and tons of people.

I honestly had no clue so many people had twins out there!!

We left with 2 highchairs, 1 pack n play, 2 play mat gyms, the double snap n go stroller and 2 small swing/bouncer chairs... all for under $200!

Most of this stuff will be at my moms house, but the nice thing about this is I can go back and resell items or get more items!

They do 2 large sales a year and these moms are serious! They show up with their big baskets ready to shop!

I was so unprepared, so I stuck with the big stuff and actually got to go into the express line and check out fast!

I think Hal was on overload listening to all the twin moms chat and discuss their lives and the items and the need for double! But it was super cool to meet new people!

Now this week- week 17... we go to find out what we have :)   I'm not holding my breath though, just in case they dont cooperate!

                                        One of the twin highchairs for my parents house!

                                                   
High Chairs, play mats, swing/bouncy chairs, pack n play, Double Snap n Go... takes up the whole Durango!

16 weeks

I just got back from Arizona and had a decent traveling experience other than being padded down by security.

Must be something about pregnant ladies? It happened in Chicago & AZ! GRRRRRR

That being said I did get a pre-board for both flights, and was able to have a lot of space... able to stand up as much as needed and keep from getting sick!

I did for a while there think I'd burn those poor babies with as HOT as AZ gets! Seriously Hal thought I was crazy. Probably a pregnant thing!

Now I am officially home in Chicago until the twins are born!

I got a doppler which is fun to find their heartbeats and listen.

Baby A on the right seems to pop up right away, and then finding Baby B... well he/she is HIDING!!!

I'm pretty big at this point, definitely into maternity clothes, and had a great check up at the doc last week.

I'm looking forward to next weeks ultrasound- those are the best!

Sickness is much less, but not completely gone and energy has come back which is nice.

Although I'm still very cautious with twins, trying to avoid bedrest if I can. So limiting activity and resting as much as I can now!

Twins are full term at 36wks so... almost halfway there!

We are starting to look at names and picking out registry items :)

I'm praying for 2 healthy babies with safe delivery arrival to come soon!

I did read they're about 4 inch in size now and 2.5 oz in weight!  I gained 4lbs this month, which is right on track for the pregnancy!

Now that I can cook again and deal more in the kitchen I'm ready for healthier foods. Whew that 1st trimester was ROUGH!

2nd Ultrasound back to regular doctor

The nausea is pretty rough. I think I will survive but it's hard.

I'm not into healthy food, which I really need for these guys. So I'm frustrated with that.
Hal made me a bunch of turkey burgers and taco meat to help keep healthy. But whew my body is not interested in any veggies at all. In fact I gag thinking about it. So hopefully the 2nd trimester will be better.

If anything, I know how to get the weight off after :)  Here I thought I could control this and would eat super healthy while pregnant when my time finally came, but I can't even look in my fridge without gagging. I can't make food... I do what I have to, but ugh!   Smells are rough too.

Sometimes it's easier to just sleep ;)

I went back to my doc who kept congratulating us- that was cool.

I got to chat with my nurses and while I thought they'd put me on a scale (yikes) they didn't. They just scanned me and checked out the babies heart beats.

They were hiding behind each other, so it was hard to see one of them. Little stinkers.

Finally we saw both-  Baby A- 175
                                   Baby B- 160

And both measured at 7w4d!


Doc told me I didn't have to come back for another 3 weeks. Guess that's great news.

I have no concerns right now- no issues.

I personally have heard tons of horror stories so of course they run in the back of my head, and I started drilling him with questions about my horror stories. He told me to stop listening!

Anything can happen to anyone. It's one of those situations.

I believe this is my time- our time- it's time for the Weise Family. We'll be doubling before we know it!

Doc said- you WILL deliver early. I guess full term for twins is 36 wks, so rather than Feb 22, I'm thinking late January they'll be here.  It's crazy to think that as soon as the holidays grow close, time will fly and the babies will be here.

I'm just happy with 2 healthy, safe delivered babies :)

1st Ultrasound

Before I get released back to my original doctor. I had to get 3 blood tests done to make sure the levels were doubling- increasing etc  I also have to have 1 ultrasound to make sure there is a beating heart and good size growth. Then I move back to Dr. Roth.

1st test was 318HCG and 37.4 Progesterone- GREAT GREAT LEVELS!
2nd test was 1558 HCG- um hello talk about HIGH!
3rd test was 4139 HCG- continuing to increase

These tests were in the course of a week- so talk about increases.

I had to wait another week for the 1st ultrasound. You have to be 6.5 wks or over 1500 HCG to see.

Of course you can't see much- but I walked in and my symptoms have kicked in very strong.

1 being pregnant brain- which you basically forget everything. I walked in totally forgetting one of the most important pieces. I cared more about seeing a heartbeat than anything. Which is fair and necessary.

You're also super tired and nap a lot when prego.

So I got up on the table, and up popped the screen, and omg so fast he was like 'Yep you have twins'

I was like HUH what?!  OMG I forgot multiples was an option. I was so focused on a heart beat.  Whew!!!

Baby A- Heartbeat 115
Baby B- Heartbeat 116

Both measured right in size.  I got a couple pictures that I'll post up when I get them scanned.

I left in shock like omg this is really happening. The risk of multiples is huge!

Hal was unable to make this appt because of work, so I headed over to his office to show him my pictures.  We called his mom to let her know- she sounded fairly shocked like me. Then my parents we met for lunch- but it seems they totally expected me to say triplets. So they weren't as shocked.

I had hit 6.5 wks safely and moving forward.

I was released back to my doctor the next week. I called him to update on the twins and he scheduled an ultrasound as well.  Looking forward to finishing up 1st trimester!

Updates

As infertility rolls- you have to take a couple blood tests for a couple days to make sure all numbers are doubling.

I came back for round 2 numbers-  They were 1558 HCG and round 3 which was a week later was 4139!

Was this multiples?! If you research HCG numbers- you'll see that these high numbers generally means multiples BUT some people have had SUPER high numbers and just had one healthy baby.

I had to wait till I hit 6.5 weeks for the Ultrasound to find out!

In the meantime we shared the news with MK- my sister in law and my brothers.

All my infertility friends were in the loop since we are such a solid support system :)

We've slowly been releasing news- SLOWLY to a couple people involved in this whole process.

You need to wait till about 12-13 weeks to be safe.

I feel very confident with this.  Every single piece of news and updates from the doctor have been nothing but positive and high excitement. He's been so thrilled with everything, that I feel this is it.

This baby is going to stay put and I will meet him or her in February :)

Now to get back to what life was like when you have this kind of exciting news. You go for months upon months of bad, sad, crazy hormone news. Weight is up and down too which makes for a super frustrating situation constantly. You can't really keep up on your fitness and your infertility- so I had to give up exercise for a while... well- a good chunk of time now :)

So adjusting back to normal life, crawling out of your 'hole', and relaxing while the little one grows :)

Sharing the News!

We had about 3 hours to plan out how to share the news. We have a set of parents local and a set in Arizona.  So, planning had to go quick!  For AZ, we had them thinking something happened to Hal's arm, and they HAD to skype us to see this 'growth'! They agreed but later on, they were out and about that night.

My parents- good lord- trying to get them out to eat was not easy!! I was like we need to go to dinner- we have a Father's Day gift EARLY!!! You need it!   You see- they were traveling for the wedding to a wedding and would be gone, so we wanted to get news out fast.

After a couple rounds of text messages and calls, we set up 7PM at a local college bar/restaurant called PINTS!

I wrote in the 2 cards- BABY(IES) WEISE DUE FEB 22!  A Special Valentines Gift is coming :)

Pretty sweet!

So we go to the restaurant and thinking it was a Father's Day card, the post it note I put on the front said- ACTUALLY, this is an early Valentines Day gift for BOTH of you!  Under the post it note was 'It's a MIRACLE!' with the baby feet and inside the due date!

I thought it was cool. My mom was like 'are you for real?'

I enjoyed a good bison burger w/ sweet potato fries- seriously my biggest craving!!!

After dinner we headed home to skype!

Time was ticking- it was getting to be like 11PM and we were like where are they!??!

Hal's mom was like- 'just text me a picture of your arm, I'll look at that'

NO!  YOU MUST SKYPE!!!!

Finally we got them on Skype- of all times to skype right?!?! HA!!

We wrote BABY WEISE FEB 22- backwards on a POST IT because then they could read it on the skype the correct way.  We were going to write it on Hal's arm but he was worried the marker would not come out.

So we chatted for a minute and then proceeded to show them the 'growth' on Hal's arm!

Lots of flowing tears and excitement! Success at sharing our news! Both Grandparents were very excited!

Updates

As I had said in my last post I was scheduled to be in Las Vegas for business and had to cancel the trip.

The bittersweet part to that is the reason I had to- was because- FINALLY! Baby is on the way!

I had taken a pregnancy test Monday the week of my bloodwork results. I was due for blood-HCG-preg test on Thursday, but knowing that I was not to go to Vegas if it did come back positive I decided to take a home test. It came up positive...and I was like hmmm could this be the HCG shot I had?

You see HCG is what those home tests are looking for. It's also the shot you take to help ovulation take place.  So if you take a pregnancy test too early- you can end up with a false positive.

I was super skeptical obviously. But I had one more test from my 3 pack, so I decided to wait until Wednesday to take it.  Wednesday morning I got up and sure enough it read 'PREGNANT'

Now I was 15 days out from my HCG shot, so I was really starting to get confident. I was due in Vegas in 1 week. I didn't even bother to continue to plan. I figured this was going to be it but it was worth asking if I could travel.

Usually you can in the first couple weeks but not if you're going through treatments.

Thursday came, I went into the doctor's office and gave my blood about 9:00AM

I had a good 6 hours until I would hear back.

Talk about driving a girl crazy!  Now I work from home so I have the freedom to do what I want, when I want. I tried to get some work done that day. It wasn't going well.  My mind kept racing.

I left to the store, all crazy, trying to figure out how we would tell our parents if this was positive news.

It was Father's Day weekend coming up and as much as we wanted to save our news for that day, it didn't go over well. I had calls coming in with questions about how the appt went.

I continued to avoid them throughout the day, but I knew I could not all weekend.

I decided going out and about would help me. I started at the puppy store. I hate puppy stores because they are like puppy mills, but I needed a major distraction. I found the cutest little puggle, 3 lbs I swear! I was tempted to get him/her. I was sending pictures to Hal through my phone and he was like WHAT ARE YOU DOING!??!!!??!  Finally I left with nothing in my hand!

I strolled through Hobby Lobby looking for something to stand out to give them with the news. But nothing stood out. A bunch of pink and blue items were there and I thought well can't do this because it's way too early if it is at all.

I think i did like 20 circles in the store. I finally came across 2 cards left that said 'It's a MIRACLE!' with some baby feet and inside it said congrats on being grandparents!  I thought okay this is easy and simple I can work with this.  I grabbed the 2 cards and left.

I think I might have stopped for ice cream on the way home.

3:30-4PM FINALLY came, and sure enough the nurse called and said- You're home tests were correct- your HCG is 318 & Progesterone is 37.4! CONGRATS!   Take some extra folic acid just in case.

In case what?  In case there are more than 1. We don't know yet, could be one healthy baby... or more.

HA!!!  So finally the good news, finally!!! Now for the big wait!  The best news was that you are considered 4 wks at that point so I was like oh thank god 8 more weeks till we're in the 'safe zone'

Now to tell our parents.

Support

A lot of ladies have NO CLUE they have PCOS. I mean A LOT!

If you come even remotely CLOSE to the symptoms of PCOS you need to get support if you're struggling!

I find a lot of support in the Facebook world- and I wanted to encourage you to reach out and find a great support group.

There is nothing like having that support of others who understand exactly what you're going through.

This disease has no cure right now... all we can do is maintain it.  It's awful. No one deserves it- but it's here and we have to deal with it.

Especially if you're the type who worked so hard on your career, followed the rules- got married- then comes babies- and all the sudden 2 years pass and every home pregnancy test comes back negative and your period is all over the place. Hair growing all over you in bad areas- chin, upper lip, back- just SO random and awkward. The ZITS! omg! WHo wants to be an adult with ZITS?! YAY for high testosterone!

This can make you HATE yourself! And you shouldn't!  This is just a disease you have to fight.

I fought to lose a ton of weight and that helped tremendously! I know weight gain is all part of this as well, it's something you can't help.  I would say adding a solid nutrition plan to your life and exercise would help counteract this a TON! But I get it- not everyone gets past this.

Mentally- oh my- mentally you are all screwed up! Especially when you're starting to try to conceive. The world gets SO DARK and you crawl into this hole because nobody understands. Not even your hubs gets it!

I want to encourage you to reach out to a support group- whether it's live, in person, on facebook, twitter etc.    It'll help you SO MUCH!  Others who understand what you're going through- there's nothing like it! Plus! You make new friends!!!

That's all for now- hopefully I have my treatments updates here for you soon

Ladies Take Note

Doctors say if you're coming up on 30 or older and you aren't close to the whole marriage/family process. Perhaps you're big into your career. They suggested that you get eggs frozen in case you are one of the females who will suffer infertility.

Eggs diminish the older you get- late in your 30's and early 40's!

This isn't the case with everyone, but it's something to think real hard about.

I always wanted at least one baby by 30.   Had I not gotten married earlier, I'm not sure what would be going through my head.  Because generally you get married- then have a baby about a year or 2 later.

If you get married late in life- what do you do?

Just making the ladies out there whom are waiting, whom have no idea if they suffer infertility or not- making them aware of their options to have a family when that time comes.

It'd help you avoid a lot of pain and hurt to know you froze eggs that will be good to use :)

40% chance of success doing that as you get older.

Check in with your doctor.

I have a great doctor that of course I would refer in a second if you live near me. I highly recommend. I even have a 2nd doctor that I use as well because of Insurance I have to balance the 2 docs. Both are great docs.

I hear some stories and it scares me to think what some of these doctors are doing. It's so different from what I do.  just scary for the lady.

The female reproductive system is crazy- you only get 20% chance to have a baby each month while trying. It can take you years, or it could be easy as pie.  You never know. But if you have a deep burning desire to have babies one day and are no where near working on that option than def freeze up your eggs.

And if you have PCOS, Endo etc DEF FREEZE EGGS!!!! It'll help you tremendously!!!

Putting Priorities First

This week I'm suppose to be heading to Las Vegas. Tomorrow morning in fact, and sadly I've been grounded from travel until further notice.

I think I've mentioned that when you're going through treatments that include injection medicine you have to be SO CAREFUL with your body. You can't travel, exercise, bend, lift, etc

So as a team leader in my business I definitely feel terrible to stay behind and leave my team in Vegas without me. There are other leaders above me who will be great support to them, but it wont be the same. I had plans to take them to a team dinner, and lots of pictures.  Not happening this year.

The good news is, our annual event is EVERY SINGLE YEAR!!! So 365 days from now I'll be back and with my team!

I do have a rank advancing/promotion coming up so I will be heading to Laguna Beach on Beachbody's dime again :)   Our leadership conference is being held in Dana Point so I'm looking forward to that. It's in September!

I should be off travel restriction soon I hope. They monitor your ovaries, making sure they enlarge like they are suppose to & then go back down.

When they are enlarged you can twist or rupture them and that is what you don't want. That is why you treat yourself with tender care while on injections- if you get this far.

Injections also come with an added 10-20lbs- no joke.  So on the plus side this added weight that I can't exercise off just yet will not be seen in the photos this week in Vegas :)

All in all as bummed as I am to miss the 1X a year event, I realize my priority which is not work. Beachbody is my job. I chose to become a fitness coach and help others get healthy. I have a great success story having lost 70lbs, 15% bodyfat, and over 10 jeans sizes. I want nothing more than to help others do the same. I want to be with my team, and spoil them for all their hard work.  But for now that has to wait.

My priority is family. Bottom line. I have to fight much harder to have babies than the majority of the world does. Therefor I have to sacrifice a lot, which includes another very high priority which is Beachbody & my business. And each cycle you dont know if you'll get a positive results or a negative one. So yeah, it makes you want to just travel. Get your mind off things, look at what else you love most and for me that is my business. And OF COURSE.. I love to travel. Who doesn't?  I'd LOVE to be in Vegas again with everyone.  There are many team members of mine I have not met yet, whom I'd love to be there and finally meet. The good news is- there is next year!  There is leadership in Laguna later this year and there is DisneyWorld coming up in March!  Lots of added travel coming up :)

Hopefully all goes well and my priorities start to line up, and a family is headed my way.

If you are on these kinds of meds, be so very careful with your body. It's super gentle right now.

Injection Warnings

If Injections are meant for you.... here's my warnings:

1. Be prepared to get fat fast!!!  Holy big stomach!!! I can't even believe how puffy I am. These meds can cause weight gain in a short week! There is nothing you can do about it, but deal.
Try being in the fitness business- not allowed to exercise, and puffing out like crazy!
The thing we do for a family!

2. No Exercise! I dont know about you guys but exercise is what helps me mentally and physically. This is a KILLER for me. I'm just walking and eventually going to swim.

3. No bending- No leg crossing- no jumping- no bouncing

basically if you have ANY doubt... DONT DO IT!

My little puggle loves to play and he's quite the jumper and I really cannot play with him right now. The poor guy doesn't understand what is going on. He's used to being able to rough-house with me and now he can't. I'm completely paranoid when sleeping because I dont want him to come jump on me and damage my ovaries.

I think the worst is just remembering everything and when the twinges start you freak out- did I hurt something?! It's crazy. Seriously.

What's happening is everything is enlarged as part of the process- does this happen with normal reproductive people?!?!?! hmmmm it does make sense for the 'bloated' time of the month on the ladies...

anyway

I can't travel right now.  All these crazy restrictions- you might as well just sleep. It's kinda depressing.

Oh and the hormones that have been added.... you're constantly starving...and craving of course all the wrong stuff. I'd say you're moody, headaches, tired... a lot of weird feelings going on.

hopefully sooner than later this will pay off and be all worth it!

I look forward to having a family and having my fitness life back :)

Injection hormones out of whack!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want to just warn those of you who have to take injections... holy mother do they make you eat and your mind spin.

I'm never FULL EVER which is INSANE! I am trying to mentally wrap my mind around eating my 5 small meals that I'm used to everyday. I took myself to the store to buy extremely healthy whole foods and am working to get rid of all the crap that was in my house this weekend!!! I usually dont keep much junk but this weekend was different as we had visitors in town, and I usually get laid back with company and eat whatever is around.

But the injections had my head spinning. You get super tired, forgetful, you cry at nothing, and EAT! GRRRRRRRR just what I want right?!?!

I am STOKED for when I can get back to fitness and shrink down. I'm super puffy/ swollen etc right now. I feel like a pregnant girl. Hopefully this will be a dream come true soon!

Injections are a whole new world of medicine but they get the job done!

I woke up super depressed, having had a nightmare that Hal hated me. Just what I need while going through this journey right?! I did get up nice and early but wanted to stay in bed and hide from everything. I could feel the depression cloud smothering me, but I am slightly aware that I am pumped with a TON of medicine right now and that it's going to pay off soon :) It's hard on this end FOR SURE.

I mean... here you are... no baby... no guarantee of a baby...and you are going through A LOT to 'try' for that baby... but nothing is guaranteed. And if you get that baby...then you have to see about getting through the SAFE ZONE! Which means no miscarriage. This is nothing but SUPER STRESSFUL. Your faith has to be SO STRONG that the plan is laid out and that a family IS part of it, regardless of how you wanted that plan to go. Because I sure wanted 1 baby at the least on the way by the time I turned 30 and here I am 6 months away from 31 with no baby in sight.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm just meant for multiples? Perhaps. One and done? Sure! Boy & Girl? bring it on! Triplets is not success in the world of the infertility docs. So twins will do. But one is good as well.

I was an only child half of my life and HATED it. I wanted badly to not be the only one and eventually I collected some siblings along the way. I do have older siblings as well, I just did not grow up with them. So I want my children to have siblings...2 total at the least 3 at max. Unless God has another plan and I wind up with 4-5 !!! I bet Hal would be just STOKED haha!!!  But in all honestly- this is not how I expected life to play out. I've gotten pregnant before on my own just fine, so this has throw the biggest curveball ever at me.

I know they say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.. but ummm I've fought a lot of obstacles in life and I'm ready to just rest and enjoy for a while...so this battle has thrown me so far off it's not even funny. In fact it's straight up sad. I do try my best to stay focused and stay positive. But these injections..whew!!!! Talk about a hormone hot mess I am right now. I'm probably best inside my house away from anyone else.

Now that I have healthy eats in the house I should be back under control here shortly with nutrition.

Mentally I like to exercise to keep sane... well all I can do right now is swim or walk. I'm waiting on whether we are moving or not here shortly to determine which pool I want to be connected to.

We found a house we love, it's very small though so there is a lot of concern there. I can't imagine having a family in this house, but we do love it. We shall see if it's what is meant to be.

If that is the case though- I will wait to get my pool pass from the Lombard pool rather than the Orland park pool.  Then I'll start swimming. I wonder if I can get my iPOD under water and still listen to it!??!?! Music helps me a TON!

What do you think tri-level home w/ finished basement-decent sized bedrooms and SMALL kitchen? OR one level home with big kitchen, big living room, decent bedrooms, and no basement? Both have 3 bedrooms... both have big back yards...

I'm trying to visualize a playroom, my office... etc  in the smaller house.... thoughts?! suggestions?! opinions?!

Big house is in the town we want to live in but on the wrong side of town, and little house is in a different town- close but not our town of choice. Of course little house is cheaper & very open... huge kitchen...  hmm decisions decisions

I also have a FULL workout room- weights, treadmill, elliptical, bars, bands etc etc Could I stash all of that plus playroom toys in a big living room with no other place to put it?!?!

Anyway- that's about it for now. Just dealing with crazy hormones, mentally, physically, and hopefully i'll get them under control soon.

Wish me luck that I'll have good news eventually.