Etiquette- Do's & Don'ts & a look inside PCOS emotions

Here is some thoughts to read on if you THINK you understand Infertility but YOU DONT suffer from it!

Infertility Etiquette

Read and DO!

And please next time you judge that fat girl laced with acne on her face, hair falling out, and if you get close enough to see facial hair WATCH yourself- Those are ALL part of this NASTY disease that THEY CANNOT HELP!!!   It's all in the hormone mix!

do you want to understand what a girl with PCOS deals with?! Do you want to see how painful it is?

Watch this.....  copy & paste the link!

http://youtu.be/rM4nIYvZ7sU

This is exactly what its like.... a roller coaster that we can only one day hope ends happy & soon!


That's all for today!

IVF Broken Down

Lets talk about how IVF works, prices, process, percentages etc etc You get where I'm going with this!

This link pretty much sums it all up! Click to read if you choose IVF DETAILS!

A couple pieces that stand out to me... 

30-35% chance!

Big Risk is MULTIPLES!!!!

10lb weight gain in 3-5 days- REALLY?! Give me a break!

Sedation at the Egg Retrieval??? yikes!  Seems I'll be in the hospital or doc's office for most of the day when that happens. I better make sure my phone is charged!!!  Potential Bed Rest?! THIS GIRL!?!? Do they know I live and breathe fitness?!?!?!!!

Injections can be 1-4 a day for up to 10 days!!!!

More monitoring with IVF/Injections..basically I have to go to doc every day/other day depending. 

OOOH exciting!  My home away from home

Embryo's can be frozen for future babies....  Dear Lord I'll take 2 healthy twins or triplets- 1 and done!

I read there is a 25% chance for twins, 15% for triplets but higher for 1!

Miscarriage occurs 15% of the time- not cool.

Progesterone supps may come alone... hmmm hopefully they are the KEY!

PRICE!!!!  Highest is $15K lowest is $7500!  Insurance DOES cover THANK GOD!!!
Payment plans are available, I want to say coverage is usually 50-80% and these totals do include EVERYTHING.  Now $7500 is likely JUST the IVF section, not the daily ultrasound monitoring, bloodwork, injection meds, HCG shot, progesterone ETC!

good lawd! 

This is me being optimistic!  It's worth it right!!!! 

Okay so fill me in on your thoughts about IVF, experiences, and wish me luck.  It's coming up SOON!

Happy Infertility Awareness Week... I think...

Exciting News Gives Hope!

Well I thought I'd be writing about this TOMORROW but since they decided to release their news early I am SO excited to write that Giuliana and Bill Rancic are having a baby!!!!!

I have been watching these guys for YEARS!!! I have prayed for them like crazy!!!! I know exactly what they are going through- but not ALL of it-cancer was quite the curveball she was thrown. Scary stuff!!!

I am soooo happy to hear their good news that the are FINALLY having a baby!!!! They are having one through a gestational carrier, because Giuliana is unable to hold a baby, take on the fertility medicine with having just gotten rid of cancer.

Check out People.com, or twitter for all the deets- the video of when they got the news!!!!  They have a little one due here in late summer.

So lets see... this leaves me still left but this also gives me hope... since IVF is up next and if that fails, I guess I do have another option :)  Crazy as it may be... we shall see what the future holds for us.

It also happens to be infertility awareness week- crazy timing right?!?! I read this article today:

http://fitbottomedmamas.com/2012/04/lets-talk-about-the-hard-stuff-national-infertility-awareness-week/

Still can't believe I'm on of these people. I wake up somedays thinking... it's a joke right?! This isn't really happening right?!?!

But here's the thing... if you know me- I am a PROACTIVE-GO GETTER!!! I dont own my own successful business for NOTHING!!! I WORK HARD, I walk through FIRES like none other. I've walked through MANY so far. The curveballs I've been thrown have been unreal, but I've also been blessed with a pretty awesome life if I must say so :)  Can't complain!!! Just wanna have some littles to join this world and complete it!!!  That being said- I think we ALL know I will likely walk through whatever FIRE i have to to get them here...  Is Hal reading this?! ha!!! He wants some littles too- so I'm gonna speak for him and say he's on board with me!

We will get there... we may have to fight and walk through a lot of fire. But we will not let this disease own us. I wont anyway...  I'm going to have negative days... it is what it is- rollercoaster- no getting around that.  So I will have my days- but I likely wont stop- I wont stop till I'm dead. I'm pretty sure of it.

I hope Hal is ready :)  He's worked hard all his life and now he's experiencing a crazy journey in life with the cards we've been handed.   Makes you appreciate your kids A WHOLE LOT MORE!

Those of you who have them- take care of them, don't abuse them, don't take advantage of them, they are a blessing and deserve the best.  Dont EVER look at them like they invaded your time, your life etc  I have had to work SO hard to get some, and still dont have any. Know how blessed you are to be naturally given one, two, three or however many you have.

That is all for today.

Round 5, Exercise & MULTIPLES?!??!

We are starting a fresh new week! I am stoked to see what happens with the Rancic family this week! I hope good baby news!!!

Moving onto Round 5!

Yet again the doc was NOT happy with Femara/Letrozole.... and well I think round 5, perhaps this is round 6. Who knows I lost count.  Have I discussed Clomid yet?!

Okay let me sum it up!

So Dr Roth was NOT happy with the last round of 7.5 mg of Letrozole/Femara. It was my first IUI experience- which mind you I paid CASH for. You can't always get the procedure covered- you need a certain amount of good ovulation rounds and well lets face it- I RARELY get a good round.... my progesterone level came back at 4.5- honestly? What is the deal ? Why oh why is this happening to me!!!  He officially took me off Letrozole/Femara and moved me to Clomid- the high dose too! 150mg right away!!! It was bigger pills, and more!

We started the monitoring... the follicles... which are what are forced to grow- because without a mature follicle, the egg will be too small and if it releases- which it should-but with PCOS it doesn't always (enter in HCG shot). OF COURSE growth DID NOT happen. Why would it?!?!

So I went in on CD 14 it was Monday- I had just started Les Mills Pump the workout program! I was STOKED! I had graduated P90X that Friday before and now I was onto the next program. I had leaned out and felt great in this process. Honestly sweat is all I can do to keep me sane!!! It helps a TON!

I got my results that nothing was happening- the follicles were not growing... I sat in his office listening to his voice not happy about what he was seeing in the ultrasound shots and I was thinking ... dear lord why... so he looked up and said yeah... your body is not responding.  Okay doc so injections with IUI are next right?  (thinking in my mind this is what I'm going to hear....)   Dr. Roth looks up and says next up will be injections with IVF.  'Excuse me?! what?!' I nearly fell out of my chair- did I just hear him, did he just say IVF?!?! He meant IUI right?! It's Monday- we're tired. I get it. 'You meant IUI right?'
'No InVITRO Fertilization!'  'Are you okay w/ injection medicine?''  ummmm do I have a choice?

Seriously?!?!?! Am I SERIOUSLY at IN VITRO FERTILIZATION!?!?!??!

Is this REALLY HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!??!?!  

So I said 'perhaps my exercise is the reason this is failing...'  'Well what exactly do you do when you exercise?' he asked... 'Um I just graduated P90X.'  WHAT!!!!  He said no more exercise!!! I thought you were going to the gym and just doing some stuff...  'um EXCUSE me I'm a fitness coach...what do you think I am doing?!?!' HELLO!!! He totally knows what I do!!! So I am on exercise hault- I get 3X a week 30 min cardio... dear lord in heaven please oh PLEASE!!! I want my Turbo back!!! At least!!! I wanted to do PUMP so bad!!! I just wanna sweat!!!!! I miss weight lifting, I miss it all- hard as it is!!! I MISS IT!!!!

Okay I believe God has a plan and everything happens for a reason. I believe God answers EVERY prayer you ask of him... he wants the best for us all. Whatever your heart desires, he fufills.... SOOOOOO God what is GOING ON!?!?!??!

Yep... here we are IVF. Coming up on deck next!  The doc scrapped the rest of this cycle and is waiting for me to get a period to start fresh and do IVF.  Plus limited exercise :(
Perhaps God wants me to have more than 1 baby at once? Twins? Triplets? eeek that is something else!

I do not know what the plan for me is. I really dont. I wish I could read some book or see a video that shows me this part of my future.  This is super painful... it really is.

Nobody understands unless they have been in my shoes. Even Hal doesn't understand- he feels it- but he's not there with me for all the appointments. He is feeling it for sure.... he wants 2 babies so bad, 2 healthy babies- honestly boys if he could have it his way... That's all we ask- just 2 healthy babies please. is that too much to ask?  did we do something wrong in our life to get in this position? As if we have thousands of dollars on hand to afford these constant treatments.

Well here's to a successful IVF coming up!  I obviously will keep you posted as it begins! I believe 1st week in May we start. Exciting, Scary, all in one!

I pray nobody deals with this kind of pain EVER.

Sharing your story is POWERFUL Rancics

Do you watch Giuliana and Bill? You should! Especially if you are dealing with Infertility!

That woman is STRONGER than EVER! Can you imagine? She has NO known cause for her infertility! Can you IMAGINE?! She's been through I want to say a round or 2 of IVF already and still no baby! Then to find CANCER!?!? REALLY!??!

Their show is SO inspiring to watch and I thank them for showing America their personal life. I learned tonight that there is another way to have a baby if you cannot physically do it!

Let the tears flow down my face now.......

They make life so fun and happy even though they are struggling and yearning for a couple babies.

You get to a point where you tell the doctor- I WILL TAKE MULTIPLES. I do NOT CARE! Bring it ON!!!! I'm SURE Bill & Giuliana got to that point. Hal and I have been at that point for a LONG time. We thought we'd be MUCH further along on this journey..and well sorry I have no news to share.

Tonight they showed their doctor telling them that Giuliana CANNOT get pregnant for the next 5-7 years because of the cancer she has!! While it's being removed and she will be fine- to take on medicine-estrogen- all the fertility drugs we have to take to have babies could increase her cancer which is unsafe for her. She is already 37 and REALLY wants her babies ! I remember watching the cancer story unfold and thought to myself OMG what if that happens to me too?! How will this ever work?! I couldn't sleep that day. I remember it clearly.

BUT tonight they introduced yet ANOTHER option, I'm not sure I got what its called correct I want to say gestestional carrier (sp?) seriously I could look it up online right now!!! Anyway so what happens is they will take her egg fertilized and put it into another woman. This woman has had credit, home, doctor, health, business, checks- all the homework complete.

How scary is it to think you are giving your egg to another woman to grow your child for you?! SCARY! But oh so exciting for them!!!! Talk about giving even ME hope!!! However I am NOT in the same shoes as they are. Nothing better- Nothing worse.

Just so nice to have someone to connect to. It was her goal to inspire other women, or give them hope and that is EXACTLY what she has done! So again thank you for sharing your story with America.

I am hoping my story will help at least one person who has to go down this horrible journey.

God is testing me for sure. It's my job to sit back and let him guide, and attempt to pass this test.

Honestly, I'm gonna do it because I'm a fighter and I have no choice but to do it. BUT dang God can a girl get a break already?!

Shout out to the Rancic Family for sharing their story and to Chicagoland! You know that's where Bill is from?! Side note- he's an amazing business builder, and I like to build businesses so that's a plus too! They DESERVE a family!

I hope by the end of this season they have POSITIVE- HAPPY NEWS!!!! I look forward to it.

You see how this works now? Those of you who don't understand what this infertility life is like? We are not jealous people. We don't want any baby but our own. We don't have ANY clue if we will EVER have one. We fight DAILY, and WORK extra hard to have them. We pay a lot of money and always bad news. God only knows why we are dealt these cards. They are horrible.

I wish I knew what it was like to just go through life, easy breezy- what I can do is just laugh my way through this. Laugh, live, smile, and do my best to keep pressing on. They say life is short. Hopefully this part of it will end soon.

Round 4 Begins

Going through this journey is like riding a roller coaster. There is ups there is downs there is that part where you are waiting to get off and sitting still, waiting for your protective chest piece to lift up with the machine so you can be free and move onto to the next step. I think waiting is probably the HARDEST part- and not knowing. Like if you ride some roller coasters you go through pitch black tunnels and have no clue if you're going upside down, on the side, straight, straight down in a big dip, maybe even a steep dip. It's pitch black so you're clueless as to when and what is up next.

That pretty much describes infertility. You have NO CLUE. Even doctor's can't figure it all out. We are a big puzzle they are trying to put the pieces together on.

Generally in this situation it starts with using Clomid, the old fashioned medicine most start at 50MG and go up to 150MG and go 3-6 rounds of trying with the medicine. Then normally you move to Letrozole/Femara 2.5mg, 5 mg, and 7.5mg 3 rounds, IUI comes into play with these meds (more on that later) if all of this fails you go to injectables (YAY more NEEDLES!!!) and the KING of all treatments IVF! InVitroFertilization! Bring on the twins or triplets! Do you remember Kate plus 8?! YUP! Sextuplets is right! YIKES!

So ladies on this infertility journey- do you ever question why God chose YOU for this journey? Why he wants YOU to be the STRONG one?! Because honestly that is what YOU ARE. We are SO STRONG for going on this ride in life.

It's hard because, it's all mechnical- it's not fun- it's not how a normal couple 'makes' a baby. Ya know? It turns into chemistry, literally!!!

It REALLY is a miracle to have a baby. Those of you who can NATURALLY pull it off, and dont even think TWICE... I hope you APPRECIATE your babies MORE THAN LIFE and give them the world!

I have to work EXTREMELY HARD, be VERY PATIENT & STRONG to have my babies- if I even get to ever have them. I'm sorry to say I do not have an end to this journey as of yet... I'm still on the Rollercoaster riding & waiting & riding & waiting.... it's NOT EASY!

So Round 4 began and it was 7.5 mg Letrozole (Femara) All the monitoring and bloodwork was coming back with AMAZING results... my body was responding like it should and all my tests were coming back with great numbers. We go to the progesterone test and it came back 9.5!!! I was STOKED. My hopes were SO HIGH! I had Hal go with me to the pregnancy test appointment, because in case it was a positive we wanted to go celebrate at dinner. So we go to the appointment and sure enough ... negative was the result. I think I was SO angry... in fact I KNOW IT. I was so upset. I could barely check out of the appointment. I ran out the door, go in my car and drove home in tears. Basically leaving Hal hanging... i mean he knew I was upset and we were in separate cars.

I was done. I was over it. I was spent. I was fuming. I was ready to punch out anyone or anything that got in my way. I got home that day and got an invite to a baby shower... talk about TIMING. How do I go to a baby shower, celebrating, being happy... when deep down I am dying inside and struggling? Isn't that unfair to the mother to be? I would think so. In fact I do think so. Many would say I am jealous... I guess that could be it. I dont know. I dont know if jealous is the right word. Because my anger isn't directed at those who get this part of life EASY. That's not it. It's more of a battle with God I think. After all he's the one who creates these miracle blessings. No matter the feelings- when you are getting pumped with hormones and ughh I can't even describe it all... its just bad and sometimes you're better off just in your house away from it all.

I'm a fitness coach- that is my job. I LOVE to motivate others, I LOVE helping others get health and fit- in shape-lose weight you name it. I'm also a business builder. I help others grow their businesses. It's not easy when one part of your life you want SO BADLY to work out keeps standing still. Perhaps it's the time I'm meant for right now, so I do try my best to continue to be positive and motivating and the REAL Lyndsi that I am. That is why I am blogging because it helps me get through the rough patches. Life isn't perfect! I think we ALL know this!

Ready to hear about Round 5?! Bring it on!

Round 3 Starts

We got home from DisneyWorld about 1 week before Christmas. I had my appointment to go to get my pregnancy test. My temperature was super high and not dropping. (Your temp WILL drop if you are NOT pregnant. If it stays HIGH for over 18 days after Ovulation then you ARE indeed pregnant)

So of course I was expecting a positive result because my temp was HIGH. I was burning up the whole time in Disney which was weird for me. Normally I am FREEZING!

We were excited because we could share with our family on Christmas some positive news.

WELL of course it was over expectation again that kicked into high gear and so went on a negative result. Another 3 days filled with anger. I was in charge of hosting Christmas too, so you can imagine how excited I was about that. NOT!

My nutrition had fallen apart. I could barely think straight, I was exhausted and depressed. I slept for hours upon hours. I was an insomniac, so technically- I would be up a lot of the night and then I would finally fall asleep and sleep for nearly 12 hours. Some say you do that to just de-stress, it's a way to get away from everything- sleeping. I'd let days waste away. I worked, I put in time, and I did exercise. I never stopped that. It was my saving grace for my sanity!!! But nutrition- definitely got the back burner. SO honestly, I'd say I probably gained weight even though I was exercising. Nutrition is 80% of your fitness success. Plus with fertility medicine you dont know how much weight you gain from that alone.

Round 3 started with 7.5 mg Letrozole (Femara) We were in the doctor's office for monitoring on New Years DAY! I had maybe 4 hours of sleep. I couldn't believe it. This round included no trigger shot. Sometimes our body will release all on its own, and sometimes it needs the shot to help give it a push. This round my body did NOT need the HCG shot. Same routine took place, got to the progesterone level, and it was .058!!! Honestly!?!?! What is UP BODY?!

So basically I have low progesterone, my follicles do not grow, and eggs do not release. All 3 pieces are a MUST to have a baby. AWESOME. JUST AWESOME. Results came back negative of course, this was expected. I knew something was so off, my temp had not spiked and my temp should spike once the ovulation takes place- because progesterone kicks in and that always makes you warm. Finally the temp spiked and I just let the cycle take it's course knowing it was going to be a negative result.

I actually was NOT angry this time. I knew it was bad, I knew it wasn't going to be positive. Of course I thought, well God if you want a miracle to happen then you'll show me with this crazy round.

It was time for round 4 and the due date dream we had for summer time was gone at this point we were looking at October 31st! Naturally that brought excitement to me just because I visioned fun halloween birthday parties. More on Round 4 in the next post!

Now that you know what all this disease is about, you can sort of feel the depression level that kicked in when I found out infertility was in my future and honestly some never end up having babies, so really it's all an unknown for now. And you can also see that not only is PCOS an issue for infertility, but diseases like diabetes, heart etc can come of this. Isnt this getting more exciting?! NOT!!!!

Good thing I am in the fitness and health biz right!!! I have to take extra caution with myself, making sure I am eating clean and healthy 80-90% of the time and of course exercising.

October came and I miscarried. I then was told you are most fertile 3 months after a miscarriage, so my mind was focused and set to continue on this journey. Hal and I really wanted a summer due date. All of our families birthdays fall in the winter timeframe and the majority in December which becomes a busy cluster especially with Christmas and New Years.

We hoped for a summertime baby, to celebrate separate from all the other birthdays in the family. So naturally I felt pressure to make this happen quick so I could get a July, August, September due date. But as I learned how difficult this would be, I was even okay with October, November. Hal was to the point of I dont care when, as long as it happens and it's healthy. And that is the truth... with this disease, all that matters is that you get a healthy baby. The choice in due dates is truly out of question.

The doctor said all you need is a little push, you have a mild case of PCOS, no cysts so this is good. November started round 1 with Letrozole a generic form of Femara, we used 2.5mg to start. I was 'drunk' through the first round of meds thinking oh dear Lord please dont make me have to do this over and over again. This is horrible. I couldn't sleep, I saw blur, it wasn't pleasant.

How a round work is that you get medicine cycle day 3-7, you have to take 1-3 pills a day. CD3,9,12,14,17 you are in the doctors office getting monitored by ultrasound to see follicle growth. A follicle is where the egg is at, and it needs to grow to a good 2.0 CM to be mature enough to be fertilized and sustain a pregnancy. Generally a normal person will have this growth around CD12-13 which is about mid-way from your period. The eggs release once matured and ovulation takes place- which is that small 23% section of time anyone can get pregnant. So if you do NOT want to get pregnant, then AVOID this timeframe or use protection of course. If you DO, now you know your timeframe :) That is, if you are a normal person!

With my PCOS, this ovulation was taking place around CD 43 which is WAY LATE! Also with PCOS you dont necessarily ovulate. Eggs don't release, etc Many ladies affected by this disease struggle to even ovulate or get a period.

Once the doctor is happy with your follicle size growth the option to trigger ovulation starts. This is a nice large shot in your rear end of HCG! It's somewhat painful, and the first time I got it, I felt sick to my stomach. Adjusting to all these drugs is what was happening I'm guessing.

From there you go on to romance or perhaps IUI is what you need. After that the dreaded 2 week wait begins. If you are anxious you better get SUPER busy for these 2 weeks. They are NOT easy. A week after ovulation you go back to the doctor to check your progesterone level which they want to be 10 or higher. A week after that is your pregnancy test. And so finishes the cycle.

Did I mention EVERY SINGLE TIME you go to the doctor they take your blood? Yep- bloodwork EVERY SINGLE TIME. Isn't this awesome?

So round 1 of 2.5 Femara & HCG went bad. No success. Usually these days are when my anger level rise and a lot of negative kicks in. I probably workout 2 hours solid, lift heavier than you can imagine and throw punches like a big muscly dude who is after another. Thank God for TurboFire!!! www.lyndsiweisefitness.com --> check out TurboFire! Best Punch throwing, kicking, cardio dance party in town!

I think most can relate to the world of social media and crazy timing- when you get back from your bad news and you see a new post on Facebook that someone is pregnant. It's not that you are NOT HAPPY for them... that's not it. It's hard to explain, but hopefully this blog helps.

Imagine getting married, and naturally a couple babies will come, life will be hard as always, but wait- WHAT?! infertility is a part of this? You mean I have to PAY TO HAVE CHILDREN?

I have to WORK for them? It's not all fun and exciting? Imagine... just try to imagine how hard it gets.

So yes CD 1-3 is usually A LOT of anger, punching, kicking, screaming... you name it.

All you want to do is move forward and have your children young so you can run and enjoy them. Life is short after all. You want their grandparents to have time with them, and like I said Life is short... it can end in a second. This whole process SUCKS. No other words to describe it.

CD3 Round 2 comes, and Dr. Roth decides we are going to try 5MG of Femara (Letrozole) this time.

You know how the process works by now- ultrasound monitoring every other day, bloodwork, and a big old shot of HCG in the rear followed by romance, progesterone level check & a pregnancy test.

I personally have never even seen an at home positive pregnancy test- only through bloodwork have I ever had positive. And rumor has it, that CAN happen to MANY. So if you get negative, be sure to have bloodwork checked out as well if you dont get a period.

I think the worst on this journey is when you get told 'Dont worry about it' 'You need to relax' or 'it'll happen when it's time' 'Dont think about it'

REALLY?!??!?! You go to the doctor every other day, get monitored, get your bloodwork done, go through the WHOLE ROUND and tell me how to NOT think about it. It's IN YOUR FACE nonstop.

And you know it's BAD when the nurses, receptionists, and students in medical training know you by name! I walk in, and it's 'HI LYNDSI!!!' It's practically my 2nd home.

Those of you just starting this journey, unfortunately you are going to run into happy mothers to be at the doctors office- finding out if it's a boy or girl- finding out they are doing great- even walking around with the bump is annoying to see. But it's their time, so you deal and read a book or play with your smartphone while you wait to see the doctor.

I'd say it's pretty difficult to hear the heartbeats on the monitors too- it's loud and you can usually hear it out in the waiting room. So that is hard to deal with, but we just press forward.

Oh and this process works around your body- so if it's a holiday, you better believe you WILL be in the docs office if he needs to see you. I've gone in over Easter and New Years Day. These doctors are aggressive and show up at ALL TIMES. I definitely feel for their families, but I guess their families know exactly what they are apart of.

Back to round 2- It was 5 MG of Letrozole/Femara and was in December I believe. We headed out to DisneyWorld for my 30th Birthday. YEP that's right I was officially 30 years old with NO BABY on the way or in my hands. So of course I was FREAKING OUT!!! WHY AM I 30 with no baby on the way or in my hands yet?! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?! WHAT DID I EVER DO SO WRONG TO DESERVE THIS?!

These are typical questions that you'll ask- and ask- and ask- and ask!!! It's hard to accept that you did NOTHING wrong.

Sadly there are drug addicts, unappreciate women, drunks, abusive-anger people who have babies like it's nothing.

Of COURSE you are wondering WHY GOD?! WHY not give the drunks, and the abusers the diseases so it's hard for them to have children? WHY let those children enter into such a hard life when there are women who would pay ANYTHING, give ANYTHING to have a baby and would care for it, love it, raise it without suffering.

I dont have this answer. If you do- please feel free to share. I can't figure out why!!

Children are a blessing in your life- and you should appreciate every SINGLE moment you have with them. Life is TOO short and some can't even have children. So appreciate that you are blessed being able to naturally have them and not have to work hard, or walk through this fire to get them.

So where was I before I got on that rabbit trail of frustration....

Round 1- progesterone came back 7.7 and negative test

Round 2- progesterone came back around 6 and negative test

I was starting to get used to the bad news, and my expectations that 'THIS' is the round were slowly falling down. Which was a good thing because you can't expect ANYTHING in this journey.

You're always on call, you never know when you need to get in, things come up... there is ALWAYS something new that happens. Be ready for constant change... after all the only thing constant in life is change!

I swear every round I would get something new that would just SHOCK me and make me go back home... thinking SERIOUSLY?! This is seriously my life? And so would start the 'what did I do to deserve this?'

A nice thing is you will find MANY around you do go through this journey. Some faster, some longer, most have success though so you can get excited and have hope.

Onward to round 3! 7.5 MG of Letrozole (femara) the highest we can go! Now this round MUST be it!

What is PCOS?

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) - Topic Overview- Womens WebMD

What is polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS)?

Polycystic ovary syndrome (say "pah-lee-SIS-tik OH-vuh-ree SIN-drohm") is a problem in which a woman’s hormones are out of balance. It can cause problems with your periods and make it difficult to getpregnant. PCOS may also cause unwanted changes in the way you look. If it is not treated, over time it can lead to serious health problems, such as diabetes andheart disease.

Polycystic ovary syndrome (or PCOS) is common, affecting as many as 1 out of 15 women. Often the symptoms begin in the teen years. Treatment can help control the symptoms and prevent long-term problems.

What are hormones, and what happens in PCOS?

Hormones are chemical messengers that trigger many different processes, including growth and energy production. Often, the job of one hormone is to signal the release of another hormone.

For reasons that are not well understood, in PCOS the hormones get out of balance. One hormone change triggers another, which changes another. For example:

• The sex hormones get out of balance. Normally, the ovaries make a tiny amount of male sex hormones (androgens). In PCOS, they start making slightly more androgens. This may cause you to stop ovulating, get acne, and grow extra facial and body hair.
• The body may have a problem using insulin, called insulin resistance. When the body doesn't use insulin well, blood sugar levels go up. Over time, this increases your chance of getting diabetes.

What are the symptoms?

Symptoms tend to be mild at first. You may have only a few symptoms or a lot of them. The most common symptoms are:

• Acne.
• Weight gain and trouble losing weight.
• Extra hair on the face and body. Often women get thicker and darker facial hair and more hair on the chest, belly, and back.
• Thinning hair on the scalp.
• Irregular periods. Often women with PCOS have fewer than nine periods a year. Some women have no periods. Others have very heavy bleeding.
• Fertility problems. Many women who have PCOS have trouble getting pregnant (infertility).
• Depression.

Most women with PCOS grow many small cysts on their ovaries. That is why it is called polycystic ovary syndrome. The cysts are not harmful but lead to hormone imbalances.

What causes PCOS?

The symptoms of PCOS are caused by changes in hormone levels. There may be one or more causes for the hormone level changes.

PCOS seems to run in families, so your chance of having it is higher if other women in your family have PCOS, irregular periods, or diabetes. PCOS can be passed down from either your mother's or father's side.

How is PCOS diagnosed?

To diagnose PCOS, the doctor will:

• Ask questions about your past health, symptoms, and menstrual cycles.
• Do a physical exam to look for signs of PCOS, such as extra body hair and high blood pressure. The doctor will also check your height and weight to see if you have a healthy body mass index (BMI).
• Do a number of lab tests to check your blood sugar, insulin, and other hormone levels. Hormone tests can help rule out thyroid or other gland problems that could cause similar symptoms.

Meet Hal & Lyndsi

Hi!

My name is Lyndsi and I will be writing most of this blog. I'm not going to sugar coat anything. I hope at the least this helps someone going through infertility struggles. I will likely have positive & negative involved trying to be as real as I can be with this experience to maybe just help one other person. I am 30 years old living my dream life married to my bff, working as a fitness coach and independent distributor for Beachbody. I love fitness and health. It's my passion. I lost over 70lbs, 15% bodyfat, and 10 jean sizes the year before I got married! There is nothing like working super hard to lose weight and get in shape! I swear it was the hardest journey in my life! Little did I know what was truly headed my way.

Hal, 31 years old works as a project manager for construction firm and was on board with me getting involved in the fitness world after we got married because it keeps me making an income but working from home which was perfect because we had it set in our minds that I would stay home with our future children.

I have looked forward to that part of life, being a mom, having a little family. The holidays and the excited look on the my kids faces. Spending time at the zoo, playing with play dough, even dealing with spit up! I've been pretty stoked about it all.

Hal and I decided to start our family growing in February 2011. It was a good time to start. I was in a wedding and did not want to ruin that day by having a large belly or being due at the time so we postponed until it was almost time for that day. I focused on my business and my fitness of course.

The time came and went, it was 4th of July weekend and I was VERY late so we were thrilled to check out a pregnancy test, only to find the test came up negative. Super confused and disappointed I knew something was not right. I wasn't up to share anything yet at the time with family or friends. It is nice to have something with your spouse before you have it with your family and friends. I wanted to surprise the families, as did he.

So I started off on my quest to figure out what exactly the deal was. I went to my regular OB/GYN doc, and got told that I am too stressed out and that is why my cycles are long. I was told my thyroid was fine and to come back in March 2012 if no baby is growing by then.

I found that to be unacceptable since we were 6 months into TTC. One of the my co-workers was talking to me about a fitness course we were getting certified for and I was suppose to get on a plane to Nashville to go to this training. I cancelled the trip and explained to her what was going on, she offered her best advice which is going out and getting a BBT and start temping every morning. I also learned about the book 'Taking Charge of Your Fertility' so I got it and began to read. It helped open up my eyes to HOW much science goes into having a baby- how big of a miracle this really is, and how you have to find the right timing. Made me question how is it possible for SO many teens to land on this small percentage of time and get pregnant?! CRAZY!

I finished the book rather quick so I could understand how natural birth control works, and how to temp and naturally make a baby. I was convinced I had this all figured out, so the charting of my temps began in August 2011.

I also had asked one of my friends a bit about it, as she is a doctor and thought she might have some input for me as well as, just having a friend to talk to was helpful. She referred me to an Infertility Specialist in the Lombard area, whom if you are reading and need help please contact him. He is AMAZING! Dr. Andrew Roth- Lombard, IL

I'm 30, so naturally I was being told DAILY announcements of people getting pregnant, having babies, growing their family like it's nothing. It was hard to handle because all I did was beat myself up for not having started this a long time ago. I did have a small dream that I wanted a baby on the way or here by 30, and I was FAST approaching 30 years old.

I kept plugging away at the temps and focusing on the key pieces you have to find in order to know when you are fertile. Day 40 approached and I was looking at my temps on the chart and realized here we were again, a super LONG cycle, and no ovulation showing... it was up and down temps all over the place. What I should have seen was low temps until ovulation, then a big spike for the next 2 weeks of temps.

My appt with Dr Roth was scheduled for September 13th- I walked in nervously reading 'Infertility Specialist' on his door 'High Risk Pregnancy' and my heart was pounding. I was thinking, 'I'm just here for a 2nd opinion. I really dont have infertility problems'

The day before I saw Dr Roth, my dermatologist suggested I get my hormones checked out, get bloodwork done because my face would not stop breaking out and we had tried EVERYTHING under the sun to clear it up. I was getting SHOTS in my FACE at this point to help clear up my face.

Dr. Roth agreed to draw blood for my hormone checks the first day I met him.

It was real cool because with Dr. Roth you can go into his office, sit in front of his desk and talk to him about your life, your health, and ask all the questions in the world. THEN you have examinations, blood drawn, monitoring etc

I left thinking okay regardless of him having the words 'Infertility Specialist' on his door, I think I'd like to stick with this doctor.

I continued with temp charting and began to read up on a disease called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I matched quite a few symptoms... Acne, Facial Hair, overweight, depression, all of those matched me. After all I did work SUPER hard to lose over 70lbs just a couple years prior to this. BUT I had no cysts. I recall going in for regular check ups, and ultrasounds when I'd fell any pain and never ever found anything. My cycles were like clockwork, always on time if not a day or 2 behind. So I wasn't convinced I had PCOS.

Sure enough Dr. Roth called and confirmed it, 'You have PCOS- I'd like you to come in for the insulin test'

The majority of PCOS ladies are IR- insulin resistant. They are given a specific drug MetFormin which helps with diabetes, and weight loss believe it or not. Many PCOS women need this drug to lose weight. Now I fully believe in a good healthy nutritional balanced diet and good exercise to lose weight & maintain. More on PCOS in a minute or the next post.

September 19th I got a call to find out if I was IR or not. Well much to my surprise not only was I NOT insulin resistant but I was actually pregnant. My HCG level was at 11 and Progesterone at 4.6, which the doctor was convinced I'd have a miscarriage.

This started the rollercoaster of will the baby stay or not. At this point both our parents were aware that something was going on and I was seeing a fertility specialist. They also knew there was a baby with a potential m/c about to take place.

I'd be in the doctors office EVERY other day for bloodwork to see if my levels would rise. For the next couple weeks they continue to rise, and he was almost convinced this baby was going to stay put.

I was scheduled to be in Orange County for Beachbody's Leadership Conference Weekend in October. Hal was in Kansas City on business for the week, and his mom was in town visiting us. It was the craziest timing ever, but October 13th, I was all packed and ready to head out to Orange County the next day, and Dr Roth CALLED ME! It's NEVER good when the doctor calls YOU with updates. Sure enough the levels had dropped and the baby was about to miscarry.

My battle with God began, 'WHY ME?!' 'WHY this timing?' 'WHY WHY WHY' My anger level rose. I was falling into a depression that is hard to describe. I could barely listen to the next steps from the doctor.

He was convinced that all I needed was some medicine and I'd be on my way to mommyhood.

Boy, did we all have any clue how much of a bumpy road was ahead.